For a psychologist, any crisis is an indicator that a person or system is going through a stage of some kind of change. Previous experience is no longer suitable and does not help their further development. Therefore, a crisis is always the beginning of a new stage. In love (and family) relationships, crises come at 2 levels: 1. The first are associated with the manifestation of personal crises in one or both partners. These are age-related crises, stresses experienced by a person. If they are of high intensity, then, of course, they have an impact on the relationship in a couple: they lead to the emergence of conflicts, misunderstandings, and disruption of intimacy between partners.2. Second-level crises are related to the functioning of the system as such. For example, a family system - which has its own hierarchy, distribution of roles, scenarios of interaction between family members, etc. In a crisis situation, this system becomes less effective, which causes dissatisfaction among its participants. Thanks to scientific publications, we know about family crises of 1 year, 3 years, 7 years, and so on. The first year of family life is always a time for spouses to get used to each other. The second crisis is associated with the birth of a child, the third - with his growing up, the possible birth of a second child, and the cooling of love feelings in a couple. Why do I describe them in such detail? To show that crises in relationships do not appear out of nowhere. They are based on certain changes and unmet needs that were fully satisfied before the crisis. At this point, perhaps, crises can be called the norm. After all, life is dynamic, the process of change is inevitable (positive or negative). When can a crisis be called the norm? I will share my opinion. Like any phenomenon, a crisis has its reasons. I wrote about this above. In addition, it has certain deadlines - the crisis cannot last forever. It usually lasts from several weeks to several months. If a “crisis” lasts for years, this is no longer the norm! This means that destructive processes are developing in relationships and more and more resources (external and internal) are required for these relationships to somehow exist. What to do if you suspect a crisis in your relationship with your partner? First. “Scan” yourself to see what is happening to you - whether you are satisfied with your life, your expectations, the degree to which your personal needs are met. If there are “stress zones,” work them out yourself or with the help of a specialist (psychologist). This will help. Second. Analyze your relationship with your partner - how comfortable are you both in them or is each of you missing something? Take seriously and respectfully if your partner expresses a point of view that differs from yours. The moment has come for changes in your relationship. What can you do on your own? 1. Identify the strengths and weaknesses in your relationship. Speak them out and write them down on paper. This process will help you soberly assess the situation.2. Recognize that there are certain problems (stress points). Try discussing with your partner what you can do now. For example, start talking about your feelings instead of hushing them up out of habit.3. Try not to go into negativity - through blaming each other, expressing anger, resentment, aggression. This is usually unproductive. Agree on a “peace settlement” before contacting a family psychologist. In the presence and support of a specialist, this process will be environmentally friendly and productive. (From my experience as a practicing psychologist, I see how important this can be for preserving relationships!) In conclusion, I will say that, in my opinion, a crisis in a relationship is, first of all, a signal of the need for change, and secondarily, a norm and an opportunity . A chance to move to a new, higher level of relationship. I wish this transition to my readers and thank you for your attention to the publication! PS In this article you can find tips on how to listen and hear each other in dialogue.