In the first step after the news of the betrayal, I recommended not making any fateful decisions, but putting yourself in an adequate state. Take a break. And now - when you, I hope, have calmed down at least a little, I propose to figure out what you want. Should I leave or stay? Save the family or get a divorce? As a psychologist, I do not recommend that you immediately kick your husband out and break off the relationship without understanding anything. To label him a scoundrel, a scoundrel. I will not comment on his actions, but with any betrayal there is always one “but”... How did you, among 7.5 billion people, half of whom are men, manage to meet and build such relationships that led to betrayal? I don't want to blame you or justify you. I want you to grasp an important idea - it was together that you built the relationship with him that led to betrayal. And therefore, by kicking him out and simply closing the door, you will never learn the lesson that life gives you. There are certain laws of the universe by which we live. Whether you like it or not, they act regardless of our desire. And these laws are like this. If life gives a lesson, then it is better to go through it to the end, realize and understand your mistakes, try to correct them and not do that again. Otherwise, you can make your life a dance on a rake. Even if your man turned out to be a traitor. Without understanding what in your behavior led to this result, there is a very high probability of encountering betrayal in your next relationship. Cheating is a lesson in which you need to understand and realize what your mistakes were. Yes, it’s yours, not his. We are responsible first of all for ourselves. We build relationships together, not he and you alone. Only you can change, only you can work on yourself, and waiting for someone to start changing for you is a waste of time. But the best way to understand your mistakes is through dialogue with him. Find out the reasons for his betrayal, what motivated him, what he lacked in your relationship and why he found others. Of course, you can leave without figuring it out. You can run away from your husband, yes, but you can’t run away from yourself. Therefore, like it or not, let's figure it out. If the husband does not want to understand anything, this can also become a serious reason for betrayal and betrayal, because if problems are not solved, but are hushed up and run away from them, then in the end we accumulate more and more of them. The bag of problems becomes overwhelming and it becomes easier to escape into another relationship than to clear away everything that has accumulated over years of silence and ignoring each other. Returning to the question - leave or stay, I suggest you sincerely answer the questions listed below. What motivates you: Love and respect for your husband or the desire to return everything to the way it was? Fear of pain and loneliness? Jealousy, resentment, anger, envy? Fear of change and uncertainty? Hurt female pride? Shame? Opinion of mom and friends? How to look people in the eyes? Existing stereotypes and myths that it is indecent for a woman to be alone? Guilt? Do husbands not cheat on good wives? Now answer the following questions for yourself: Before cheating, did you have deep respect for your husband as a Man? Do you feel respect and love for yourself as a Woman, as a Personality? Was he the “oldest” or the “youngest” in the family for you? Have you considered your man worthless and weak, an under... man? Or vice versa - you completely dissolved in your husband, having long forgotten about yourself, your needs, desires. Did you do everything for him, just to maintain peace and quiet in the house? How often did you have sex in your relationship? Who needed sex more in a relationship - him or you? Are you both happy with your sex life? Have you discussed your preferences, have you brought anything new into your sexual relationship? How often did you spend time together? Together, not with children, friends and relatives. Did you have any common interests? Were you interested in his life, and he in yours? Have you talked to each other about your feelings? About the fact that you love each other? Did they show tenderness, care, warmth?/