I'M AFRAID THAT HE WILL LEAVE ME Question: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. When we met, our communication was excellent, he wrote that he missed me, he came often, it was clear that he loved me. For several months now, communication has not been the same as before. He also says that he loves me, and gives me flowers, and says that he misses me. I became more jealous of him, and because of this, misunderstandings began to arise, and he does not like it. Yes, and I’m losing my mood, I’ve been crying all the time lately, and thoughts come into my mind that he will leave me. But he says he has no desire to look for another girl. What should I do? I love him very much. I really want to save the relationship. I want to surprise him with something so that he looks at me as before. Answer: You became attached to the young man and began to love him. And as a result, your fear of loss has risen. And that's okay. This fear is expressed in jealousy and thoughts that you have become something different, that you need to surprise him with something. It seems to me that you are afraid that he will “leave” you, the one who feels not only positive and rosy feelings, but who worries, cries, and who is not always in a good mood. But the young man endures and stays with you. And that's okay too. Because relationships are about very different states - where there is a place for unpleasant feelings, fears and experiences. Your task is to MAINTAIN your man’s good attitude towards you. And ACCEPT that part of yourself that is afraid of being abandoned. Try to imagine this part of you that is afraid of being abandoned, that is jealous and thinks that it is not loved. What she looks like, how old she is. Everything that comes to your imagination is true. Perhaps the image of yourself as a little girl will come to you. Now pet her, wrap her in a warm blanket and tell her: “My good one, you exist. And I need you. I love you. You are good the way you are. There is nothing wrong with you. I am with you, I am with you ". Send her the energy of acceptance and self-confidence in your imagination. Listen to yourself, what feeling she still lacks and give it to her. Or do what you want - for example, hug or hold. It is important to feel that you trust yourself. Do this exercise mentally for as long as you need. The result will be a reduction in tension and fear that the young man will leave you. Write if you have any questions. Ps: And remember, you are fine. You deserve to have your loved one stay by your side - in whatever condition you are in. I believe that you can maintain a stable relationship that you are happy with. You can ALREADY succeed in this. Pss: I will be glad to help you transform the energy of fears into your strength and self-confidence in individual consultations. Sign up by mail [email protected] Sincerely, Irina Potemkina Analytical psychologist and EFT practitioner