Even in the last century, virginity was the most important attribute of creating a family. In different countries, in different social strata, in almost all cultures, maintaining virginity before marriage was an indispensable condition for marriage. And the relatives, the morning after the first wedding night, studying the blood on the sheets of the newlyweds, did not seem like a bunch of barbarians meddling in something other than their own business. Preserving virginity before marriage, as a condition for preserving the purity and fidelity of one woman to one man, certainly had a basis. Here is the man’s confidence in his paternity, and the guarantee of the health of the offspring, and the preservation of the strength of the family through the exercise of the biological power of a man over a woman. Sigmund Freud: Who first satisfies the girl’s longing for love, which has been suppressed with difficulty for a long time, and at the same time overcomes her resistance that has developed under the influence of environment and upbringing, he enters into a long-term relationship with her, the possibility of which is no longer open to anyone else. As a result of this experience, a woman develops a “state of subordination,” which is a guarantee of the inviolable duration of her possession and makes her capable of resisting new impressions and temptations from outsiders. However, the last decade of the twentieth century and the beginning of the twenty-first were marked by a sharp change in attitudes towards virginity. And first of all, the attitude towards defloration of the woman herself has changed. Today, losing virginity in early youth is considered normal, at twenty years old it’s already too late (I’m already twenty, but no one needs me?), and by the age of 25, virginity becomes a problem that is not so easy to solve. And virginity is brought into psychotherapy not as a source of pride or a symbol of purity, but as a symptom. In my practice, I have encountered such contents of virginity as refusal to live (I don’t have a sexual life, which means I don’t live, I don’t participate in reality.- alibi (mom, I couldn’t have sex with your husband, because I’m a virgin) in a family where abuse is possible - disability (virginity is used as a shame, as a “shameful” disease) - as a somatized protest against intrusion (with an overly penetrating upbringing ) - it is significant that virginity rarely becomes a symptom of a lack of relationship. With a problem of this nature, there is usually an experience of sexual intercourse, although it is quite traumatic. We can talk about equally serious changes in the perception of virginity in men. Virginity has turned from a value into an obstacle to the implementation of relationships. with a girl. - I don’t want to get involved so that there are no problems later (avoiding responsibility in a relationship) - well, no one needed her before me? (this is also about a weak ego) - why do I need a girl with such problems (when virginity is perceived as a disability) In “The Taboo of Virginity” Freud wrote that the rupture of the virgin pleura requires a man to show aggression towards a woman and overcome her own aggression, inevitable at the moment of causing her pain and damage. One can only guess what in recent decades has caused such a desire in the psyche of people to hide their natural aggression from each other?