I'm at the very beginning of a romantic relationship. A wonderful time when falling in love hides all the rough edges in a relationship and communication with the object of love seems ideal. In the morning, over a cup of coffee, I look at my phone and see a message from my lover: “Good morning, Squirrel!” It seems like nothing wrong, nice address, but I feel like I’m starting to get angry. Why? She was in a wonderful mood in the morning; she bragged to him about her squirrel-like behavior. It’s good that there is enough trust and security in our relationship, so I’m writing in response: - Good morning! There was no squirrel behavior observed in the morning. There was no way to stockpile anything. I’m a little shocked by myself, I think why am I so grumpy. My inner critic comes into play and says that girls in love should not behave this way, but I leave him muttering on the sidelines and discover the following (my new message): - For some reason, I’m angry at this treatment. As if this is about a part of me, and not about the whole of me. The answer I receive is: “Kitty.” I understand that this is a question of some important boundaries for me, and although I do purr sometimes, I don’t want to be a cat. I'm a man!!! I write in response: “Kitty is about most of me, but still not all of me.” Irishka! - Well, I like it that way! It relieved my heart. After a short correspondence I receive a security question: - How do you like Swallow? - I’m Irina. I don't want nicknames. Uh, the question is closed. I feel like I stood up for something very important to myself. And at the end of the conversation: - Thank you, Irishka. The inner feeling that everything fell into place. However, my love for reflection did not allow me to forget about this experience so quickly and I began to think about what my name means so important that I was ready to go into conflict with such a significant person for me. I remembered one exercise that I did as part of my study of existential analysis. Working in a small group, we discussed the following questions: - Do I like my name? - Would I like to change it or not? - Do I feel comfortable with it? I note that the main topic of discussion was about self-acceptance, self-love and care About Me. The name is an expression of who I am, and through the attitude towards it one can see the attitude towards oneself. I didn’t accept my name right away, and I still accept it with reservations. So I really love such forms as Irina, Irishka, Irinka, Irochka and do not accept the names Ira and Irka. Through caring for my name, caring for me is very clearly demonstrated to me. By demanding its correct use, I defend my boundaries and ask for due respect for me. And I have the right to this! How do you feel about your name? —With love and respect, Irina Tikhomirovawww.fair-lady.ru Subscribe to new articles by the author of this publication