With the advent of their second and subsequent children, many parents are faced with jealousy of the older child towards the younger and the younger towards the older. And, despite all efforts, it is not possible to convince children that they are loved equally. Why does jealousy appear in children and how to deal with it? Jealousy is the threat of losing possession of another person completely and completely, an unwillingness to share it with someone else. In the case of children, jealousy can spread to parents and be associated with brothers and sisters. Jealousy of one a child towards another can be expressed in various ways: increased capriciousness, disobedience, aggression, both in relation to a brother/sister and in relation to parents. The greater the age difference between children, the easier it is to resolve the issue of jealousy, but what to do if the difference between children 1-3 years old? Parents often notice that the behavior of the older child, who was previously sweet and obedient, begins to change irreversibly, not for the better, with the appearance of a brother or sister, and without any admonitions that it is bad to behave this way - don't help. And once again the phrase that one needs to love one’s brother or sister is met with hostility and leads to new whims or another portion of disobedience. The deterioration of the older child’s behavior is an indicator that he lacks attention from his parents. The child is focused to, by any means necessary, receive that portion of attention that will show that his parents have not forgotten about him, that they remember and love him. Even punishment will be perceived as such attention. If you want to change a child’s behavior for the better, you should remember a simple thing: punishing a child in order to correct his behavior is pointless. Punishment does not lead to the fact that the child will behave differently, but to the fact that he will remember: for such behavior they pay attention to him, albeit negative, but still attention. Most often, the baby’s behavior does not change immediately. Before becoming a “bad guy,” the child tries other ways available to him to receive the missing portions of love and care. If he doesn’t speak yet, then signals that he lacks the attention of his parents may include the fact that he will climb into arms and take the initiative in hugs and kisses. If the child is already talking, he can directly say: “hug me.” It is important that mom and dad do not ignore these signals. It is at these moments that the child most urgently needs to see your feelings. Don't put off showing your affection until later. Then your child may no longer need it. It is worth thinking about how to compensate for the lack of attention in an older child. You can, for example, introduce the tradition of reading fairy tales to him in the evening, or playing together for a certain time. Set aside time that you will devote specifically to communicating with your child. Jealousy can manifest itself not only in an older child, as a result of a lack of attention, it can also come from younger children. Most often, it is expressed in the form of questions about why one got more and better than something. than the other: why are there more candies, or the candy wrappers are brighter, or the number of nuts in two chocolates is not equal, or the tights of one are green and the other is blue... It should be remembered that any difference in the signs of attention that you show to your children , can be regarded by a child as a difference in love for children. For example: if you buy two chocolates, they must be the same. Even a difference in the color of the wrapper can be interpreted as meaning that you love the other one more. If you buy toys, they should be the same; clothes - if possible, too. Childhood jealousy has its origins in the child’s desire to be the most, most loved. Therefore, if you want to convince children that you treat them equally, then the signs of attention should be the same: the same amount of time that you devote to your children, the same gifts, the same sweets. This is the basic rule, which, in many ways, will make.