The path to discover the strength and sources for positive changes in ourselves lies through suffering. As long as we run away from suffering and do not have the strength and courage to look into the root of all our problems and suffering, until then our life will be like fighting windmills, not changing fundamentally and not bringing joy and positivity. How to heal through suffering and discover the strength and sources for positive changes in life? For every person there comes a period in life called a crisis. When there is no satisfaction with oneself, there is no satisfaction in relationships or work. Sometimes this state of dissatisfaction covers one area, for example, only fulfillment at work, sometimes dissatisfaction extends to the sphere of personal relationships, and sometimes dissatisfaction takes over all areas of life and the person feels great depression and great dissatisfaction with himself. If dissatisfaction takes over all areas of life or the most important for a person. If he was unable to achieve the desired results, then the person may feel great depression, often associated with a feeling of internal paralysis and inability to -change. Paralysis is born from great disappointment, from a feeling of helplessness and the ability to influence the situation, from unjustified expectations and unsatisfied ambitions. This condition can poison a person’s life, and can also be a healing force for him, a source of his positive changes. Poison from the medicine what distinguishes it is its quantity. If a person plunges into gloomy sensations and remains fixated on his problem, then his psyche is poisoned and he cannot get out of the circle of this problem on his own. He finds himself in a vicious circle, where hope is replaced by another disappointment and again by reviving hope. A person cannot accept the existing state of affairs, cannot accept the existing qualities of a person, he continues to hope for miracles and changes. It is as if he cannot open his eyes and look reality and facts in the eye. Every person has a choice - to change his life or continue to be in a ball their suffering. A state of internal crisis, acute suffering can destroy a person and his life, or it can be an impetus for positive changes in his life. Only a person makes a choice in favor of one or the other. There is a power in human capabilities that can transform his depression and “ crushedness” into a state of his determination to change the existing situation. In each of us lives a force called the instinct for life, and if we rely on this resource, then the person will live the way he wants. Freud also spoke about the two main instincts of man - the instinct of life and death instinct. He also argued that the amount of energy in a person is a constant value and, according to the law of conservation of energy, it can move from one state to another, but the amount does not change. It all depends on the distribution of energy within us. If we direct our energy and thoughts to satisfy the death instinct, then we will destroy ourselves and our lives, we will constantly be in suffering and problems. If we direct our energy to other processes - to changing our lives, to taking daily specific and consistent steps leading to positive changes, then we will feed the instinct for life and we will build our lives in a different way. When a person reaches the peak of his pain and suffering, he may break down and stop fighting, or, on the contrary, he may discover within himself a source of incredible strength and determination and use this strength for positive changes. He can, in one second, decide within himself to get out of suffering and once and for all put an end to what makes his life joyless and dead. The first step on the path of healing is to first accept the existing state of affairs. Only through suffering and acceptance of the situation does the healing of the soul. Yes, we do not have the power to change the situation, wewe do not have the power to change a person, we do not have the power to subordinate life and circumstances to our desires, but we do have the power to change our attitude towards a situation, a problem, towards the source of our suffering. You can change your attitude through accepting the situation and the fact that it is impossible to change it. At the same time, there is two choices, either adapt yourself, or leave everything and go your own way. Neither the first nor the second option has an advantage, it all depends on the values ​​and beliefs of each of us. Whatever decision a person makes, he refuses to fight and accepts the existing state of affairs , he does not accept his suffering and not the fact that he suffers, but accepts the presence of the source of his suffering and chooses whether to remain in suffering or get out of it. To change your attitude towards a situation or a person, you must first expand your understanding and see more, than you see at the moment. This is the only way it becomes possible to change your attitude towards the source that brings you suffering. The second thing you need to do is stop blaming someone, stop blaming life for injustice towards you. You need to understand what lesson you have for yourself you can learn from existing suffering. If a situation is repeated in your life more than twice, it means that you have not learned the lesson you need for yourself. You have not solved your internal problem. You have not stepped up a step and have not changed. We are all sensible people and each of us tries to think in a similar way, what I write are the truths known to you. And I know how many try to cope with problems on their own, as a result of reflection and analysis, but at the same time there is danger number one that you will plunge into this situation, you will get bogged down in blaming yourself, danger number two - at the same time you will lose the strength and energy you need to get out and solve it. Very often, during such reflections, a person cannot get to the essence and depth of his problem, because defense mechanisms are activated that protect you from painful awareness and learning the truth about yourself. In this case, I think it is more reasonable to turn to specialists who will help you go through your suffering and realize their true cause. In the course of constant and long-term psychotherapeutic work, painful feelings are gradually experienced and released from repressed state in the unconscious. When faced with suffering and painful experiences for the first time in childhood, the child’s psyche is not able to cope and process the painful experience, understand it and comprehend it. The child’s psyche has no other choice but to displace pain from consciousness. But this does not mean that she is gone for good, she is like a splinter embedded in the soul and becomes a source of constant infection and inflammation, causing suffering and attracting people and situations that will contribute to the spread of infections, infecting more and more layers of the psyche. Only through living, liberation and awareness does true healing. At the same time, a greater amount of energy is released, which was spent on retaining pain and painful experiences in the unconscious. The released energy will be aimed at achieving goals. Understanding the internal mechanisms of the psyche will bring the opportunity through awareness to live differently. For the first time, a person has a choice in his life. He can continue to act in the old way and know exactly what he will get as a result, or he can begin to act in a new and different way, not know exactly what he will get, but clearly not what he is used to getting. Very often a woman tries to change her behavior within the framework of existing relationships, but all her efforts are in vain, she again and again finds herself in the circle of her painful experiences, in the circle of self-accusations and in the search for reasons in herself, she tries to understand what she is doing wrong in these relationships. She sincerely tries to change her behavior pattern, but there is no result. She doesn’t understand why? Sometimes this internal work is not only not constructive for her, but on the contrary has a depressing effect on her, she.