From the author: Psychological workshop Interview published in the newspaper “Work for You” on 04/21/2004, online newspaper BelaPAN on September 29, 2004. * How is a specialist laid off due to staff reduction different from a baby? * Is it possible to be afraid of freedom and independence if you have dreamed of them all your adult life? * Where can you run from your own fear when you hear a menacing lion’s roar very close by? Psychologist Olga KOVAL answers these and other questions. — Olga, I witnessed how an educated man, dissatisfied with his low-paid job and tyrant boss for the last few years, almost burst into tears when he learned that he was being laid off. Why do many people experience a job change as a crisis?— “Crisis” translated from ancient Greek is a turning point. A person is faced with the need to make a specific, sometimes vitally important decision for himself. And this is always a difficult decision for him. A person, faced with a certain event, does not always experience a crisis, but only when he initially perceives it as his huge problem. But the moments inherent in living through a crisis, when really significant changes occur in a person’s life, will always be present. Even if these changes are desired. In any crisis, a person, figuratively speaking, returns to an infantile state, and he has to master the world anew. Imagine: someone had a profession, a position, a place in society, a habit of drinking ground coffee in the morning and leaving the house at 8.30, using a certain “social package” and knowing what he would do, that he would be paid for it, and what tomorrow they are waiting for him at the office...And suddenly social identity is lost, and again you have to decide the question of “who are you” and look for your place in this world. True, in our society the crisis of job loss usually proceeds more mildly than in the West: it is customary for us to sympathize with those who are laid off and show understanding. For them, this is a more “familiar” and personally isolated event. I prefer to remember the duality of the world. History knows many examples when the struggle for freedom, even death for its sake, was considered the most worthy meaning and outcome of life. At the same time, gaining freedom in the form of losing a job - perhaps a low-paying and uninteresting one - frightens many. Most often, this happens because people are not inclined to consider being fired as gaining the desired independence. After all, freedom can be viewed not only as an opportunity to reveal one’s inexhaustible potential, to try something new, but also as loneliness, isolation, a source of anxiety and a feeling of powerlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, ultimately, social castration, uselessness, lack of demand, etc. . Especially if a person does not know how to use this freedom... Experiences are aggravated by the fact that any crisis is accompanied by uncertainty, the inability to control what is happening and predict the future. In this case, more often than not, a person’s financial situation objectively immediately worsens, and he can no longer live as before. — How to learn to live in a new way? — I would advise you to take this situation as a zero starting point. Don’t panic, don’t be nervous, don’t curse fate and imaginary or real enemies. At least take a break and not do all of the above, not waste your own energy and time of your own life, which is so precious in this situation. After all, who knows - what if being fired becomes the happiest turn of your life!? It’s good if you have the opportunity to really pause for a while and “look around”, let yourself think about what really happened? Did you like your previous job? Would you ever be able to leave her yourself? What do you really want to do? Remember your childhood dreams: maybe now is the time to make them come true? Listen to your intuition, because sometimes the most unexpected and at first glance incredible thoughts lead to the best decisions for yourself. A good technique is to “break down” the situation, look at it from different positions.List on paper the advantages and disadvantages of your current position, talk about your expectations and fears. This work is best done with the support and help of another person, so as not to fall into some unconscious patterns of your own and not to walk around in circles, like a squirrel in a wheel. And it is better that this is a professionally trained specialist who is not emotionally involved in your situation. After all, it is emotional involvement that often does not allow you to “look from a different angle,” reach a new level of consciousness and see your other “assemblage point.” Do not rush to answer these questions. Take the example of a baby who masters the world optimistically and gradually. As one of my teachers said: “Haste is only needed when catching fleas.” I mean turmoil, feverishness, panic. While you’re thinking, you can do something that you haven’t gotten around to doing for a long time. For example, disassemble the mezzanine or master relaxation techniques. The main thing at this stage is to find inner harmony, which will provide stability for bold steps into the future. Look for support from friends and acquaintances, in films and books. It’s good if you have relatives nearby who understand you, who don’t reproach you, don’t rush you, don’t humiliate you with pity and don’t treat you like you’re sick, even if you behave nervously. In any case, even if you don’t have much time to think, you can find a temporary “point” support”, which will provide you with at least the necessary minimum and will give you the opportunity to continue your further search for what will suit you most. The main thing is not to despair. Your life certainly doesn’t end there. And many people react in this way to an unexpected, unwanted, unpredictable event. - What if harmony is not achieved, and you are afraid to step into the unknown? - I can only speak about my own experience: a psychologist is my third profession, although I did not lose my job, but left it myself every time. In the early 90s, I was an engineer under threat of layoffs, and until the beginning of the new century, I was a successful financial employee at one of the private companies. I studied psychology out of personal interest until I realized that this was my path and I didn’t want to do anything else. It was scary, of course. Especially when there is something to lose... No one then understood my step except my husband and son. For which I am very grateful to them... It really supported me. But for me the main thing has always been not to change myself. And, as my grandmother used to say: “The eyes are afraid, but the hands are doing.” So it is here. In any case, we can never know in advance the real consequences of any of our choices. And sometimes what seemed the best is regarded by us years later as the wrong choice. And, on the contrary, we recognize some completely undesirable events at that time as the most effective for our development and we say that “if it weren’t for this...”, then I, for example, would not have understood anything in this life or something else would not have happened in my life, very important... It was not “happened”, not “happened”. This has deep meaning for me. Therefore, I have never ruled out such an important way of existence for me as trusting myself and my intuition. This is one of my main rules... And for me, the best choice has always been not to regret what I wanted, but didn’t do... Anxiety and fear are familiar to me, natural companions of a crisis, even if global positive changes are expected ahead. It is only important to “make friends” with your fear and not make decisions “under its dictation.” I once read a story about a community of lions, which seemed instructive. It turns out that lions use their elderly relatives for hunting. Having driven the prey into a ravine, old, toothless and clumsy predators stand on one side and growl menacingly. Fear drives the victim in the opposite direction, where the young, strong and merciless are silently waiting for her... Maybe it makes sense not to run away from fear, but to meet it halfway or at least “examine” it?! There are several truths that, in my opinion, are worth remember a person who lost his job: Our.