From the author: Psychotherapist, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league (Moscow), expert on television programs, sexologist, educational psychologist, NLP master, specialist in the eastern version of neuroprogramming, specialist in personal well-being and family relationships, trainer, coach. This topic is important for all women. And due to its relevance, I want to highlight it from the point of view of a psychologist, sexologist and psychotherapist. For some, the loss of virginity is not so painful and traumatic from a psychological point of view, and everything is resolved relatively simply. I want to talk to you about problems in this area, and I hope that many things will become clear to you, dear readers. In my practice there are examples of such work. I’ll start with the first situation. A 26-year-old girl came to me for a women’s training in Moscow. We worked with the group in terms of enhancing feminine energies, with feminine and sexual attractiveness. At the end of the training, she came up to me, saying that she was a virgin, also noting that she did not have a simple character and did not have a good relationship with her parents. Then we met at an individual reception. During work, it turned out that she was from a military family with rather strict parents. They, in turn, provided their daughter with different beliefs, by which she lived without fully realizing them. In addition, due to the fact that she was engaged in self-development (which, on the one hand, is certainly good), attended trainings, watched television programs, read a lot of information on various topics, she had many beliefs from books (sometimes that do not fit into her life ), as well as the beliefs of friends, relatives, etc. We had to work for a long time to free her from “chewing other people’s, not always environmentally friendly thoughts.” But let’s return to the beliefs about her virginity. They also had some positive aspects, for example, the fact that the girl “did not give herself to the first person she met,” etc. At the stage of growing up, this is a completely good and correct belief, but later, when she became an adult, it began to interfere with her personal life. I do not encourage her to go and lose her virginity. She will decide this herself, but based on her convictions - at that moment, and with the person with whom she sees fit, and not depending on her parents’ or anyone else’s principles. The second illustrative example is my work as a psychologist and sexologist with a girl from Sochi. The situation there is somewhat different. She was 21 years old, she had a young man whom she was going to marry, they even tried to live together. But as soon as it came to intimacy, she pushed him away, and gradually the relationship began to deteriorate. During work, we developed a difficult relationship with my father, who lived very little in the family, then there was a stepfather, who also could not create a positive male image. Later we decided everything. I would like to note that there is something in common in these two examples. These are serious problems with accepting and realizing your femininity. This is what we should work with. I can’t help but highlight one more aspect that sometimes may not be taken into account even by good psychologists - this is the psychogenetic (hereditary) moment. In this regard, an example of my work with a client from Voronezh, 42 years old, who was also a virgin, will be interesting . Here you can trace the negative impact of generic programs. Upon closer examination, it turned out that her cousins, who were already over 80, were also virgins and were “hidden” from men. This is what my client “inherited”. It is not only possible, but also necessary to work with this, solving this problem to the end, as a psychologist, sexologist and psychotherapist. In conclusion, I would like to say that this topic can be approached in different ways. Someone will sit and “wait for the prince on a white horse,” or vice versa... In any case, a person himself has the right to make his own choice, and not a choice imposed by someone else. But if you feel that this area is problematic for you, it is better to go and solve it with a specialist. I would like to end this topic with the words of Albert Einstein: “A great spirit always».