“Basic instinct” existed at all times and under all authorities, although little was said about it, and in the USSR there was no sex at all, no matter what. And suddenly there was an explosion! In the 21st century, sex is talked about, written about, told and shown to all and sundry without concealment. However, this did not reduce the intimate troubles. We talk about the problems of male and female sexuality, the notorious G-spot and sexual maturity with sexologist from Moscow Yulia CHEBAKOVA. Pots and diapers? - I think the understanding of sex is different in different countries of the world. Is this true? - Sexual relationships and problems in different cultures of the world are certainly very different. First of all, they differ in varying degrees of prohibition. We will talk about the problems and realities of Russian society, although, I note, in our culture to this day it is not customary to talk much about sex, to speak freely and freely speak about the intimate side of life.- And yet less, there are stereotypes that are characteristic of all people! - Regarding certain sexual stereotypes. One of the main ones is that a man can be polygamous. Remember the common image of this handsome macho man. He is confident in his abilities and enters into sexual relationships with a large number of women. In general, he is not blamed, and many men are even jealous. But a woman with a lot of connections will be blamed in any country from the point of view of the public. Such an unequal attitude towards the sexual freedom of men and women has developed historically. - And a woman, it turns out, has pots and diapers? - A woman is a kind of instrument for sexual satisfaction and reproduction. And such an instrumental role of a woman is very important. - Why? - Because, statistically speaking, it is women who have sexual problems to a greater extent. And this is also no coincidence, because the position of a woman and her sexuality, as well as the problems in this area, are different from the same indicators for men. - And now in more detail... - Sexuality has two functions - procreative, the purpose of which is procreation, and recreational , her goal is sexual pleasure. Sexuality serves these two forms. It is clear that the problem of sexual dysfunction will be associated with impaired recreational function. This is a problem that prevents, in one form or another, the achievement of sexual pleasure. - What is this connected with? - Sexual desire, or, in the language of psychoanalysis, libido, is different for men and women. And sexual contact is contact between two people, and here a lot depends on interaction and understanding of each other. What are women silent about? - Let's return to libido... - I offer a small excursion into the development of libido of both sexes. First, a growing person experiences a romantic or platonic stage - this is precisely the stage of idealized ideas. He is a knight, she is a princess. Here, boys and girls are the same. At the erotic stage, adolescents of both sexes have some need for intimate contact. Desire for touch, privacy. But at this stage there is also no pronounced need for sexual contact. This occurs only at the sexual stage, associated with intensive development and maturation. This is where the differences appear. For boys, everything happens much more spontaneously and more intensely than for girls. - Who is easier to survive this stage? - The sexual stage is much easier for men. In particular, research and practice of patients with sexual dysfunctions show that in women this stage is often delayed in its development. And it is on it that, for example, a woman’s ability to experience orgasm depends. And I can say for sure that this is one of the central problems that women face. The completion of development does not occur. - That is? - The next, fourth stage is the stage of mature sexuality. At the sexual stage, we can see an intense sexual need in its purest form, when the object may not be so important - this is more characteristic of young men. But at the stage of maturity, not only sexualneed, but also an individual choice of object. Orgasm is different from orgasm - How does female sexuality differ from male sexuality? - For women, everything goes through several stages. There is a decision-making stage, followed by a sensory stage, that is, a stage of sensations. This stage is already associated with the fact that there is some kind of contact between a man and a woman and she is excited. The next one - secretory - means that the lubrication reaction begins and readiness to have an orgasm. Next is the orgasm stage and the refractory stage, or resolution stage. I will also note that in fact there is no such stage when a woman is immune to sexual stimulation. Unlike a man, she can have sexual intercourse again immediately after intercourse. If men technically do not have such an opportunity, after the act they are completely relaxed, then it is easier for a woman in this regard. - And if we talk about men? - Men, of course, are more physiological in their sexual reactions than women. This is also due anatomically, because the physiological apparatus of men is structured more simply and, in general, a man’s sexuality is more physiological. Usually ejaculation itself is a condition for them to achieve orgasm. Men VERY RARELY have problems with orgasm. - And do the fair sex do the opposite? - Yes, women have just the opposite - very often. This, I repeat, is one of the most common problems with which women turn to a sexologist. A woman’s genital organs are more complex, which causes many different discussions around the topic of female orgasm. - And what do experts say about this? - It is well known that sexologists distinguish two types of orgasm - clitoral and vaginal. It is assumed that clitoral orgasm is generally not a problem for women, since the clitoris is the most sensitive area of ​​the female genital organs. It is very similar to the mechanism of a male orgasm. And a vaginal orgasm is precisely the orgasm that signifies sexual maturity. It is generally accepted that only vaginal orgasm is real and that is what one should strive for. Many women never experience this type of orgasm in their lives. This has long been a proven fact. I didn’t even know! - Explain what this G-spot is? Does it really exist? - No. As numerous studies that have been conducted regarding female orgasm have shown, there are no specific zones on a woman’s body. The fantasy of a special G-spot is completely refuted by research. This is a false idea. For orgasm, certain actions of the partner are needed. - Well, tell me... - Research shows that in women orgasm is possible when a very large number of zones are involved. If a man’s sexual reaction is localized, then a woman’s orgasm involves a very large area of ​​structures. And to achieve orgasm, it is not necessary to look for a specific point, because the feeling of ecstasy does not have clear boundaries and a specific localization. It is important to understand that there is no such problem - finding a specific point that is responsible for getting an orgasm in a woman. With sufficient arousal, any stimulation of the woman’s genital apparatus leads to pleasure. So this is a certain kind of myth - about certain poses, points, etc. In fact, all problems are solved with a sufficient degree of arousal, which directly depends on the skill and desire of the partner. So it turns out that vaginal orgasm, on the one hand, is complex, and on the other, simple. It is ensured by the stimulation of certain zones, and there are many of them. - And all the jokes about “poke-poke” are nothing more than idiocy. - It must be said that increasing sexual literacy often solves the problem and improves the quality of sexual life. To this day, not all men are aware that in women, extragenital erogenous zones play an important role in the process of increasing arousal. And if a man immediately stimulates a woman genitally, then she will not be able to get aroused, any sexologist will tell you this. - But a lot has been written about foreplay. - However, very often there are problems with this very thing - such a necessary stage of foreplay is skipped. For women it's like that…