For a long time I was lucky enough to study and collaborate with the wonderful Gestalt therapist Elena Petrova. The article is written based on a selection from her lectures. The problem of psychosomatic disorders is associated with a person’s inability to recognize and find ways to satisfy their needs. From childhood, we get used to the fact that many things in our lives are determined by our loved ones, primarily by our parents: what to eat, what time to go to bed, who to be friends with and go out with, where to study and even work. Often we simply do not understand what we want in those moments when we begin to feel something. And then surrogates of needs appear that destroy us. We start smoking or drinking, eating a lot of sweets, searching for thrills, etc. Although in fact, at this very moment we may want love and warmth, hug a loved one, receive recognition from loved ones, finally feel respect and love for ourselves. Here are some “tips” on how to become a psychosomatic person on your own. About feelings. If you have feelings for another person, do not express them under any circumstances, but consider that you are simply sick. And that’s why you feel somehow uncomfortable. If you don’t like the situation, try to quickly change something in yourself so that it seems nice or at least neutral to you. If you don't like the situation you're in, try to freeze and spend as few resources as possible to avoid unnecessary pain. If you don't like the situation, do something that distracts you. Drink some wine or play on the computer. Or better yet, just sleep. Maybe it will go away on its own. Never look around you. Suddenly you will find resources that will help change the situation for the better. If you do tell someone about a difficult situation, pay attention to the advice of those who say that it is your own fault that you got into it. And to those who say that “she should have taught you something.” Feelings of powerlessness to change the past and guilt lead you down the right path. Don’t listen to those who say - come to us: you will rest, come to your senses and when you gather your strength, you will figure out what to do. Make decisions in stressful situations quickly and decisively, without taking time to think or rest. If you do take time to take a break and recuperate, under no circumstances do you give yourself extra work to analyze the situation and make new decisions. This would clearly be unnecessary work of the mind. Don’t waste your time on mental work and empty psychological observations - you were resting in vain. Just return to the situation as it is, with new strength, and act exactly the same as before. Now you have a small margin of safety to endure longer.