When I'm afraid of something. Can I say about myself that I'm not afraid of anything? No I can not. Of course, there are many things that I am afraid of. Namely, this is war, spiders, cataclysms, that one day a star called the sun will die and much more. But even these situations, which I cannot influence, can be uneasily, but experienced, if you look at them from the “Adult”. Let's interview my ego states: Irina psychologist: “Irina, are you afraid of death?” Irina (Parent): “Yes, of course. How will my parents bear my death.” Irina (Adult): “Death is the end point of existence, what’s the point of being afraid of it? Every year death occurs in nature - flowers die, leaves turn into dry crumbs and serve as fertilizer." Irina (Parent) spoke out of turn, without giving the floor to Irina (Child). Irina (Parent): "By the way, why do people in cities remove leaves fallen, they thus disturb the ecosystem. We must fight to preserve the environment." Irina (Child): "I am very afraid of death, because I will be there alone and the unknown also scares me, now my heart is beating faster with horror." So, we listened to my three ego states. And what do I see? The Child ego state has the most fear. And the Adult ego-state does not have it at all. The question arises: why? Because where the child’s ego-state is, emotions arise and the imagination depicts horror that may or may not happen. Whether I’ll be there alone or not, who knows. But as soon as the heart starts beating faster, the feeling of anxiety increases. The physical condition aggravates the state of fear like a tsunami. A rapid heartbeat pulls you into a panic state, from which it is much more difficult to enter the Adult state. What can be done in such a situation. Most often, children cry in a dark room. In a split second, a child’s imagination draws monsters from a closet or chair. Sometimes children say that the cabinet opened its mouth and moved. When a mother comes into her child’s room, first of all, she turns on the light. When the child sees that the closet is standing still and the chair was not going to attack, the child calms down. Consciousness sees clearly: THERE IS NO THREAT! To turn on the light for your Inner Child as an Adult, you need to ask in the moment of greatest fear: where am I now, what is happening to me, can I influence what is happening, if so, then how?!? After you have realized that you are not on the Titanic (and if you are, what can you do), you should sit down, put your feet on the floor, put your hands on your feet and even out your breathing. This way, instead of your mother, you turn on the light for yourself. Those. your Parent will take care of your Child. If you are most often guided in your life by emotions and make decisions based on emotions (usually they say: I was out of my mind), then this means that while your Adult has very little power to decide how to behave in a given situation. My Adult is convincing to me: yes, nothing lasts forever and this is undeniable, let’s move on! If you don’t succeed, come for a consultation, we’ll train.