More and more often in my practice I notice how cleverly this triangle draws clients into the game. Stephen Karpman developed a theory about the analysis of psychological games. The point is that people play one of the roles such as VICTIM, RESCUE and PERSECUTOR (in simple words AGGRESSOR). So let's start with the VICTIM - she is unconsciously looking for a RESCUE or AGGRESSOR. The victim sincerely believes that she is not capable of solving her problems on her own; it is easier for her to find a RESCUE who will help and at the same time confirm her belief that she herself is not capable of anything. This position is both convenient and safe for the victim; its reality is represented by various cognitive distortions. RESCUE - again, he is convinced that he knows better than others, and is simply obliged to help the victim. At the same time, expecting praise or dependence of the victim on the superhero. With the help of the victim, the rescuer raises his self-esteem, significance and importance. AGGRESSOR is a hero who criticizes, humiliates and asserts himself in this way. He believes that other people are inferior to himself. Subconsciously, the aggressor experiences a feeling of shame and helplessness. All three of these roles are in a distorted reality. THE RESCUE will not give a person a chance to solve his problem himself, the AGGRESSOR ignores the person’s values, and the VICTIM, participating in this game, does not notice his own resources. The most amazing thing is that a person can alternately move from one role to another, as if being in this dramatic triangle. Example 1: The role of the VICTIM is an anxious mother, she does everything for her child, let’s say he is 3 years old. He feeds with a spoon so that he doesn’t get dirty, and the kitchen will be more intact, he tidies up toys, since the baby always puts them away incorrectly, and in general this process drags on for a very long time. And now mom is very tired all day, she is now a VICTIM. Everyone’s children are like children, but mine doesn’t want to do anything. He enters the room, and there is a mess again. And then mommy turns into an AGGRESSOR, she can no longer extinguish her emotions and begins to criticize her child. The baby, not knowing how to react to his mother’s angry screams, begins to cry. And then hello, a feeling of guilt and the switch once again worked in the RESCUE. The mother calms the baby down and silently tidies up the toys, sincerely believing that the baby is not capable of this. Thus, in a short period of time, our heroine played three roles: VICTIM, then AGGRESSOR and RESCUE. Example 2: This time let's look at destructive relationships in the family that are in the Karpman triangle. The wife has a dirty car, and she has to go on business tomorrow, she asks her husband to go to the car wash, but he refuses. The wife starts the game, she is now the AGGRESSOR, trying in every possible way to humiliate her husband, saying that all normal men wash their cars themselves and in general this is not a woman’s business. The husband is offended to hear how his wife compares him with others, in order to displace aggression and avoid conflict, he takes on the role of VICTIM. He is offended by his wife and does not talk to her. Having not received the desired result, the game continues, the AGGRESSOR switches to the RESCUE. The wife begins to feel sorry for her husband, because she has once again gone too far. Example 3: Drama triangles are very common in work relationships. A strict manager, aka AGGRESSOR, forces you to work overtime, without paying for additional hours. An ordinary worker, a VICTIM, cannot defend his position, complains to his colleague. And then the RESCUE comes and sympathizes, perhaps even helps with the work. But the most obvious thing does not solve the problem of the victim. And to some extent it makes it worse. Since our Aggressor sees that the work is being done, he further increases the load. And this game can continue for a very long time. Switching from one role to another. The victim can no longer tolerate this attitude and takes on the role of AGGRESSOR, causing a loud scandal at work. Now the boss becomes a VICTIM, to whom his SAVIOR, the same colleague, runs, consoling his boss. He agrees with him that the AGGRESSOR is ungrateful and arrogant. How to get out of this.