When a married young woman turns to a psychologist for help, it often turns out that she has already accumulated many complaints against her husband. I will describe the situation in general. A young woman, let's call her Maria, works full time. After work, she is waiting for cooking dinner, cleaning, dishes, the need to do homework with her son, put him to bed, read or tell him a story before bed. “And what is the husband doing at this time,” I ask Maria. “And the husband is resting after work.” .- And if you ask him to read a fairy tale to his son before bed?- He will read it. But somehow I don’t want to ask him. What can't he figure out himself? Doesn’t he see how hard it is for me? - Maybe he can help you around the house - tidy up, wash the dishes? - I ask. - Maybe, in principle, - Maria answers, - But he doesn’t offer help himself, and asking for it is somehow beneath my dignity. - Can he do homework with his son? - Maybe, but he quickly loses patience and starts screaming . And I feel sorry for my son. - How long does it take you to prepare homework with your son? I started thinking. - Well, on Sunday we did homework with him for 7 hours straight (!) My son is in junior school, the guy is slow... - But you can’t do it lessons with a child 7 hours. This, excuse me, is too much for both the child and the parent. When a woman works equally with a man, and at the same time she is overloaded with household responsibilities and the responsibilities of a mother, she experiences emotional burnout, apathy, “Groundhog Day,” and fatigue accumulates. In such cases, a husband lying on the sofa or playing computer games begins to be very annoying. And often he becomes “to blame” for all the negativity that accumulates in a woman. Who is to blame, we seem to have found? But still, in fairness, we will not place the blame entirely on the husband for what is happening in the family, but will share it among both adults. Now the next classic question: what to do? Manage your family life, do not let it take its course, understand , in which direction the imbalance turned out, redistribute responsibilities so that they are more feasible, bring various amenities, joys, and entertainment into your life. When Maria, after my questions about her family, thought carefully about her family, she said that she married for love, that her husband is actually wonderful, that if you ask him for something, he will never refuse her... Yes, sometimes she is offended by him from the New Year to March 8th because he bought her the wrong gift , but doesn’t say anything to him. And then - from March 8th until her birthday - for the same thing. When she is already “breaking through” and she expresses this to her husband as a painful complaint, he answers her in confusion, since he did not think that there was a problem here: “Well, I don’t know what to give you, give me a hint or order something specific or buy it for yourself, I’ll transfer you the money”... - Is it worth worrying so much about this? - I ask Maria. Maybe it’s true to order a gift and be calm? She seems to agree, but notes of doubt remain: - What about romance, surprise? - And with surprises in your situation, you will be offended from holiday to holiday - choose what’s for you better? In general, I offered Maria a “simple” recipe for family happiness - start being “friends” with her husband. Well, who is really the closest, beloved and loving person, like-minded person for her? Husband, of course...And she began to be friends with him: calmly discuss everything, ask for help, they distributed responsibilities, they began to diversify their weekends with walks, outings to an amusement park with their son, or sometimes allowing themselves to take their son to his grandmother and be alone, go on a visit .They went on a romantic trip to another city for the weekend. Their relationships in general improved, and their sexual relationships too, they began to compliment each other from the bottom of their hearts, and their lives became much more enjoyable than before. They also planned concerts, theaters, field trips, and began to dream together. about a vacation that they will all enjoy. And the little son, motivated by the fact that when he quickly finishes his homework, then!