There have been a lot of requests from people who are in dependent relationships. I decided to prepare an article where I will analyze the origins of this addiction and the possibility of getting out of such a relationship. According to my observations, women are more often found in dependent relationships, although gender does not determine the nature of dependence. People in love are always dependent on each other, but this can be considered normal until the personality loses its boundaries, the person ceases to be himself. The criterion for dependent and pathological relationships is simple: “I feel bad in this relationship, but I have the strength to end it.” I don’t, so I stay in them every time, no matter what.” Typical symptoms here are the following: a feeling of loss of freedom and loss of will with a partner, a narrowing horizon of interests, a panicky fear of losing the relationship, in a relationship a person becomes subordinate and is forced to adapt all the time . As well as special symptoms that depend on the character of the person and one or another deficit that the personality experienced during its formation in childhood. The main motives of dependent relationships I will dwell on the deficit in childhood in more detail. In childhood, at different age stages, according to Langley's theory, we develop four main motives: 1. A feeling of support and security in the surrounding world.2. Feeling of your life - “I live and I like the way I live.”3. The ability to be yourself and a sense of inner self-worth - “I have fundamental value to myself, even without all my achievements.”4. “I know what I live for. My life has meaning for me.” A deficiency of at least one of the motivations always leads to damage to the final, fourth, meaningful motivation in life. In all cases, we are faced with the fact that an addicted person has a borderline structure, and part of his meaning-forming core of personality is contained in another person. Thus, when we lose the object of dependence (or separate for some time), full-fledged dopamine starvation, which leads to diagnosis described in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10) F60.7 - Dependent personality disorder. Of course, such destructive relationships, as part of this disorder, destroy the personality. And even having stopped one relationship that does not suit him, a person builds new relationships with the same pattern of dependence, and such relationships again deplete and undermine the personality from the inside. To be continued...