From the author: How to cope with childhood jealousy, how to help a child survive the trauma of having a second child in the family Many families face this problem. And it seems like such joy - the second baby, and maybe the third or even the fourth... But bad luck, instead of the joy of meeting a long-awaited brother or sister, the older child suddenly begins to show resentment, anger, and capriciousness. And the poor mother doesn't know what to do. She has a lot to worry about. Now even more than before. Diapers, breastfeeding, feeding everyone, washing, cleaning the apartment... And there’s not enough time, and my soul hurts: maybe I’m a bad mother, maybe I didn’t explain something, didn’t control it, maybe I’m doing something wrong . How does mom feel? She has doubts, anxiety and often a feeling of guilt towards her older child, that there is not much time left for him, that there is no time to play her favorite games, learn poetry or just sit down and talk. I really want everything to go as it should, easily and simply, so that everyone loves each other, and there is a big strong family. But often in the words of the older child, in his behavior, JEALOUSY shines through. What to do with childhood jealousy? How to deal with it? How a child experiences jealousy largely depends on the behavior of mom and dad in the family. Here are a few simple rules: 1. Get used to the idea that jealousy is neither bad nor good. She just is. And your child has the right to feel what he feels. He can be understood. Previously, he had his own special place in the family - the only (or youngest) child in the family. And mom - she was HIS. He got the most time. He was the center of attention. He had the best of everything. And now everything has changed, he has lost his place of exceptional importance. Now he is no longer the only one and not the youngest, but the eldest. And what to do with it? How to share mom and dad? What will be his place in the family now, and how can he be accepted without loss? The child should know that you accept and understand his feelings, and do not devalue them. How parents forbid a child to feel what he feels. For example, with such phrases: “You speak badly, he is your little brother, you must love him” or “So that I don’t hear such words again”... How to say so that the child understands that he and his conflicting feelings are accepted: “ I know that you are worried that we have a little one, because now I can’t devote as much time to you as before, but I still love you very much.” 2. Help the older child find his new place in the family and understand its advantages. Younger children usually can do anything. And the elders are faced with only a sea of ​​obligations: “Give in, you’re older and smarter,” “Help me, you see, I can’t cope,” “Why didn’t you follow up?”... Obligations are good, they teach responsibility, but Don't forget that your child is still a child. And he doesn’t want to, and he won’t be able to take it and grow in an instant. And in addition to obligations, the role of a senior can carry privileges. Help your child understand this, create them. For example: “Vanya is older - he goes first in the game” or “Vanya chooses a cartoon today because he is older.” Think about your privileges. Let your older child be proud of being older. And also say how proud you are of him. 3. Leave the older child a piece of your time so that it belongs only to him. Let it be a little time, but every day. For example, read a book to him before bed every day. Or play your favorite cars. Just without haste, without irritation, calmly and with pleasure. Let this be only your time - his and your mother's. So that he feels that there is a place for him in the family too. Meanwhile, let dad take a walk with the stroller or give the baby a bath. Ideally, time should be spent in different ways, interacting both as a whole family and with different family members individually. For example, in a family with two children, whose names are Masha and Misha, it looks like this: - Activities for the whole family - Mom studies/plays/walks with Masha -!