Our children know how to make us show our worst side. And they force us to do it. They know better than anyone where and how to “push” in order to bring us “to the point of white heat”, and they can achieve this faster than anyone else. But when we are filled with anger, hopelessness, indignation or resentment, we cease to be normal parents. At such a moment, in such a state, we cannot, or rather, do not want to understand the feelings of our children, their point of view, and act objectively. So what are we doing? We choose “revenge”, shout, swear, punish them. And all so that they know how angry they made us. Are you familiar with this condition? When all the muscles of the body tense, the palms sweat, the voice changes, the face warps and changes its color (red or white) and acquires such a repulsive expression that hardly anyone wants to be near us. In such a state, we simply cannot imagine, we cannot admit that the one with whom we are angry has nothing personally against us. Instead of stopping and thinking about what is happening to us at this moment, with a feeling of our impeccable rightness, we pour out our anger on the head of the one who, in our opinion, is to blame for the fact that we are experiencing this state. What is happening was perfectly described in his fable “The Wolf and the Lamb” by Ivan Andreevich Krylov: “For the strong, the powerless are always to blame. That’s why in History we hear countless examples.” and further in the text, and in the finale: “It’s my leisure to sort out your faults, puppy “It’s your fault that I want to eat.” And just like that, when our beloved child does something, we immediately find ourselves in the “loss of control” zone and behave like that wolf from that fable. Surely our child’s behavior evokes strong emotions in us, much stronger than irritation. But this reaction, despite its irrationality, very quickly becomes habitual and well predictable. Interaction with a child becomes more or less predictable and stable, but irrational and destructive for all participants in this process. When a child hurts us and we get angry with him, we need to stop. When we exercise self-control, the trigger for our irrational reaction is not triggered. It only triggers when you lose control of yourself. Give yourself time to turn on the mechanism of self-control by pausing, that is, reacting not at the moment of a surge of emotions, but later. If we give in to emotions, we will turn from a person capable of resolving the situation in the best way, into an integral and essential part of the problem. When we do not know how to control and manage ourselves in any situation related to the behavior of children, we will always lose contact with the child and our authority as a parent. In such a state, we will not be able to teach the child anything good, no matter how much we would like it. Our attempts to control the situation in a state of strong emotional arousal caused by anger, resentment or other strong feelings will only push the child away and will not allow us to achieve the results we want, or teach him to obey us out of fear. Both again trigger the same vicious circle of anger and guilt. Learn to pause before reacting to your child’s behavior.