Nowadays, conflict is one of the natural states of human relations. Everyone has had to deal with conflict situations. Conflicts arise in almost all spheres of human activity. And there is nothing strange about this. As the American psychologist B. Wool rightly noted, “life is a process of resolving an infinite number of conflicts. Man cannot avoid them. He can decide whether to participate in making decisions or leave it to others.” Every person needs to have an idea about conflicts and ways to resolve them. All conflicts have several reasons: limited resources that must be shared, differences in goals, differences in ideas and values, differences in behavior, level of education, etc. Among the main causes of conflict, the following are distinguished: 1. Inconsistency of reasoning. Disagreements may arise due to a discrepancy between your reasoning and the reasoning of the other side. After all, how you see the problem depends on from which bell tower, figuratively speaking, you look at it. People tend to see what they want to see. From the mass of facts, we remove those that confirm our views, ideas and beliefs, and do not pay attention or mistakenly interpret those that call our ideas into question. 2. Peculiarities of perception. Each person has his own characteristics in the perception of another person. Some people like visual presentation, concreteness, are prone to accusatory statements, others perceive information through auditory images, speech, and still others through the states of their body. All this creates the preconditions for conflict and difficulties in managing it. 3. Subjective predisposition to conflicts. Research shows that individual personality characteristics that create a person’s tendency toward conflictual relationships include: inadequate self-esteem of one’s capabilities and abilities; the desire to dominate at all costs, where it is possible and impossible; conservatism of views, beliefs, unwillingness to overcome outdated traditions; excessive adherence to principles and straightforwardness in statements, etc. Finding yourself in a conflict situation, it may be difficult for you to find a way to resolve it. Below are some rules of behavior in conflict: - objectively assess the situation and the problem it contains. - Negative feelings do not need to be hidden, they must be openly expressed. Apologies for the feelings experienced are not required. - complaints are made to specific behavior, events, misunderstandings, actions of the partner, and not to his personality. - leave the past and future alone, find a specific solution in a specific situation. - openly express your desires. - tell what exactly will you do for your partner if he fulfills your wishes? - ask your partner if he sees any other solution to the problem that has arisen. - retell what your partner says. - do not belittle the significance of your partner’s feelings or desires. - show that you accept and respect your partner, but you yourself have the right to your own point of view, your own perception, your own desires (he, however, also has the right to this). - offer options. - note the commonality in your positions. I hope that these recommendations will help you in resolving real conflict situations. Psychologist-consultant Elena Grib.