Children's script in relationships No. 1: “Don't leave me, I will become even better!” As long as we breathe, we will always desire newness or change, especially in relationships. These are the natural needs of ordinary people. We are often aware of these needs, but there is also a little-conscious part within us that protects habitual behavior and beliefs. I want him to care more about our child, show interest in his upbringing, offer options for additional clubs, think about his future, including choice of school - private or public. I want them to spend more time together. I'm so tired of bearing all the responsibility for raising myself. I don’t remember the last time I was with my friends at the cinema or in a restaurant. The current routine does not bring joy, but only grievances and tension accumulate. On the other hand, as long as I keep all this to myself, we have no reason to quarrel. But if I start telling him that I'm tired, he might turn away. Perhaps he will begin to reproach me for the way I run my household, and I will turn out to be a bad wife. I'm afraid to express my grievances and dissatisfaction. So, we continue to live, because we have been together for five years. But who knows, maybe he will eventually leave me with the child if I begin to more actively express myself and share my desires. Why does the little-conscious part win? This part remembers what helped her receive her father’s love: to remain restrained, comfortable, obedient, sometimes strong. She doubts that frank conversations or expressions of feelings, as well as being demanding, will help get love from this man. She remembers that such manifestations often ended in devaluation, shame or reproach. Unconsciously, a woman strives to be ideal. The little-conscious part of her still adheres to the experience of the past and ignores the current need for novelty. Revision of responsibilities does not occur, expectations are not discussed, the other side is not even aware of the drama unfolding inside the woman. How can they meet if one is afraid of rejection and retreats every time. How to understand that this scenario is playing out in your current relationship? - Your patience in a relationship is approximately 80% or even 100%. - You are ashamed of your fatigue, boredom, of your desires to be alone, spend time with friends, ask your husband to cook dinner, etc. - You try very hard to be good: lover, mother, partner, hope, support. - The thought of having an open conversation makes you sweat. - You often think what a child, a husband, a mother want, rarely asking themselves what I want. A child’s script is a habit that can be replaced with a more mature one that corresponds to two adults building a happy relationship. It's important to slow down, realize how you're hindering yourself, start doing things differently, and figure out what exactly you want. Believe me, the marriage will only become stronger.