What am I talking about? Who are "mommies"? And these are women who bring a parental flavor to relationships with men. In fact, mothers cannot live without finding a son for themselves and taking care of him, in their sweet dreams seeing how he turns into such a man, for example, like Daniel Craig, in Agent 007 or Vladimir Mashkov there, or some other wonderful type . Moms sleep and see how their infantile children, who are carefully brought a spoon to their mouth, are transformed into independent, responsible representatives of the male gender, full of internal and external dignity). So that you have no doubts, the role of mothers is diligently played by women of different ages from completely different social strata. A woman does not have to be older than a man, she does not have to be rich and beautiful. To prepare such a “child-parent” relationship, you need to take one man who stubbornly does not grow up and one woman who, at the very beginning of the relationship, consoles herself with the main thought: “It’s okay, now I’ll help him a little (read, “I’ll do it for him”), and then... how with my help he will take off, how he will achieve it, how he will understand what kind of treasure I am - and we will live happily ever after... "And the woman, inspired by the thought voiced above, helps and helps him, and pulls him and learns for him, - and as a result, somehow it turns out so imperceptibly that he drags along his “son”, who is exhausted from such “happiness”. And here’s the strange thing - the more a woman invests, drags, hopes - the more and more amorphous and unadapted her overgrown son becomes. And because once he found a woman who does so much for him, his self-esteem is artificially inflated, he no longer agrees to some little things like being the head of a department (“... I don’t want to be a high-ranking noblewoman...”), he wants to be a general director ("..., but I want to be the mistress of the sea..."), preferably in business (no one else wants to let this creature into their business - evil people). And since there was someone who appreciated him and does everything for him, the remnants of responsibility and the beginnings of independence evaporate from the character with the speed of ice melting in boiling water. Of course, the types of mother and son are formed long before the paths of these two cross in the most fatal way. People become moms from childhood. To do this, it is necessary that, for example, the mother’s parents themselves were immature children who gave birth to a daughter, and at the same time endowed her with adult responsibility, depriving her of (what is it) childhood. That's right - why does she need it? Their lifelong adolescence did not bring them happiness, so there is no point in her being a child - and for her parents, you know, who will be responsible? And the child, to whom her parents, without taking responsibility for her adult life, “handed” responsibility for herself, unconsciously understands that for her only such a relationship is possible. Having entered adulthood, the girl begins to implement in her relationships with men the scenario that was formed in her childhood. A girl who was the eldest in the family and, due to the absence of a father or the presence of a passive father and an always busy mother, was forced to become a “mother” to her younger brothers and sisters can also grow up to be a mother. Society, represented by its neighbors, of course, encourages such heroism - and what - a caring girl, she doesn’t wander around God knows where, she’s always at work - she’s growing up to be a housewife, and since childhood she’s been helping her mother (and dad) - how can you help but praise her. You can become a mommy when your parents have no time for you at all - somehow it turned out that they have their own problems, you have yours, and your paths do not cross, so very early you need to start taking responsibility for yourself, because there is no other way out. Hence, often low self-esteem and the desire to “earn” love by diligently pushing your clumsy other half in front of you. The first two cases have one thing in common - the abandonment of childhood and the early assumption of adult responsibility for someone. Responsibility, in fact, not corresponding to either age or position,in the third option, the person is very lonely, and there is only one way out of getting rid of loneliness - “becoming worthy of love.” How can one not start looking for a “son” in the adult period of one’s life? After all, no other experience of relationships is registered in the unconscious. Sons also have their own logic to be such good boys and attract non-biological mothers. And often too - in the family of the “son” there is initially either a passive father or no father at all. Well, and of course, mothers of sons are most often active, and to such an extent that the “son” from childhood draws fundamental conclusions that with such a mother it is better to abandon his activity altogether, because life and health are more valuable than masculinity. If masculinity can still be somehow found later (at least, they hope so), then life, you know, cannot be resurrected - such consequences await if you contradict your mommy - you don’t even need to contradict another mommy - and still your legs would take away safe and sound. And the little sons, gritting their teeth, grow up and endure, consciously and unconsciously, in the hope that when they grow up, then they... will show, prove, deserve, etc., etc., and their biological mother will return to them the masculinity that they have. she took them away a long time ago and hid them somewhere in her vast unconscious. And so they grow up - and then an unpleasant surprise awaits them - having submitted to the inertia of “not to arise,” they lose the skills of healthy competition in society. It becomes difficult for them to survive, where can they even dream of taking back their mother’s masculinity - again, they need to compete with the male part of the mother, and the male part of such mothers has never won the competition with such men! And the son begins to be torn apart by conflicting feelings - with his mother It’s often already hard, and without a mother it’s scary. And he begins to look around in panic in search of that paradise shore to which he can moor and find (no, not masculinity), but at least peace. And, as you know, “he who seeks will always find” - and here, of course, as in a fairy tale, he meets his mother). It must be said that Mommy also doesn’t choose anyone - no, her “son” is often as good-looking at a minimum, he may also be from a decent family (in a decent family the husband occupies a good position, but is essentially married to work, and he is interested in his wife and children as an addition to his work, so the wife successfully deprives her sons of masculinity for one reason or another) My son, it happens, even has a higher education, but this does not make him more adapted to the realities of life and to competition in society. And mommy, fixing his gaze on the “son,” full of hope, “Now I’ll help...” begins to roll this heavy stone up the hill. The stone does not resist, but it does not want to help (roll) itself (it seems to it that it cannot). Mom expects that having rolled the stone to the top of the mountain, she will finally take a break, and will receive all kinds of rewards from her son, firstly (for her valiant investments) and from society (secondly) for the fact that “look what a man is nearby with me". After all, according to mommy’s plan, her unimaginable investments on the top of the mountain cannot help but turn into the fact that “son”, like a frog, will shed his skin and ... turn into a beautiful ... Daniel Craig, or something (well, this is when he’s in swimming trunks in sea). And thus, having rolled the stone to the top of the mountain, mom suddenly becomes convinced that nothing is happening. Not only does the stone not turn into Prince Charming, but it also strives (bastard) to slide down. Mamchik holds the stone on the top until her strength, quite expended in the process of delivering the stone to the top, is completely exhausted. And the stone, having finally found freedom, rolls down with a desperate, cheerful roar, childishly increasing its speed and consuming adrenaline along the way with lungs full of delight and excitement. Mommy watches this picture from the top and swallows tears of disappointment and pain. It happens that, having rolled down, the stone stops and, realizing that this is all, a dead end - you can neither roll further nor return to the top - becomes upset and repents. And then it comes down from the top.