Motivation There are 2 types of motivation: carrot and stick. The whip manifests itself in the form of reproaches, insults, rejection, punishment, violence. Gingerbread - through the manifestation of love, care, encouragement, praise. Imagine that your boss comes up to you and offers to stay on the weekend and work for the growth of the company, which will greatly help the team, you will provide, plus they will also give you a bonus. Track your feelings. Now imagine the same boss saying in a commanding voice that you simply have to go out on the weekend otherwise he will cut your salary. Compare your feelings with those in the first version. The first motivation inspires and a person is easily ready to spend money, time, energy, etc. Since at this moment his values ​​and his identification are supported. That is, he may turn out to be necessary, important, in a team, for the sake of business, to receive material rewards. The second one deprives you of strength, causes tension, and spoils your mood. Now I invite respected parents to evaluate what motivation they most often use in communicating with their children. And then read what will help you get the desired result from interacting with children. As a preface, I would like to add a poem: hug 17 times, kiss 10 times While studying the question of why Jews have so many talented, successful people who are happy with life, I found some articles and notes. I want to make some generalizations from them that will well illustrate better interaction. 7 wise rules for raising children among Jews. The love of Jewish parents for their children knows no bounds. It seems that no other people have such a cult of children. Psychologists can talk about both the pros and cons of such an attitude, however, Jewish children definitely do not experience a lack of love and attention. 1. You can’t create complexes for children. A Jewish mother will never say, “You’re bad,” she’ll say, “How could such a good boy like you do such a stupid thing?” “My child has no, and cannot have, any shortcomings” - this is the position of Jewish mothers. They may see them, but no one else will know about it. 2. Reasonable freedom Modern Jewish education combines two seemingly contradictory things: the freedom of the child and the rigidity of demands. A good metaphor to describe this style: a spacious, free room with hard walls. In Jewish families, children want to hit their parents on the head, and painting dad’s passport with mom’s hundred-buck lipstick is not a reason to look at the child reproachfully. For Jewish parents, the freedom of a child is not a special “upbringing”, but air that one cannot help but breathe. Harsh upbringing begins when the child crosses the lines of what is unacceptable. In a Jewish family, it is clear that you can pour your mother’s perfume on the yard cats, but you cannot hit your grandmother on the head. 3. Praise the child for any reason. A mother always praises her child. This praise begins from the very birth of the child. A Jewish mother admires even the smallest successes and achievements of the baby, even if it is just a new syllable or the first inept blot as the first drawing. All friends and acquaintances will definitely know about this, and most importantly, the child should see that he is being praised in the presence of everyone. If the child’s achievements are more serious, then one cannot do without long applause and praise from the whole family. If we train ourselves to notice all the good things in children, including the “little things,” and reward them at every opportunity, this may radically change their behavior. To strengthen their desire for good, let them one day “overhear” us talking about their successes to our friends. 4. High degree of responsibility for their behavior Jews believe that even the most insignificant word thrown in a hurry and a minor offense committed by a parent in front of a child can have irreversible consequences, therefore, by their example and very responsible behavior in relation to everything said and done, Jewish parents guide their children. 5. Love and respect in the family- the guarantee of a child’s mental health. Jewish tradition explains that the basis of any family is a husband and wife - father and mother. Therefore, children must be taught from an early age that the attention of the mother to the father and the father to the mother always comes first. If a child learns that his parents live, first of all, for each other, and makes sure that their relationship is imbued with respect, love and care, he will feel protected. And, besides, such behavior of parents is an excellent example to follow. This is the kind of relationship he will try to create in his own family when he grows up. 6. Learning to be parents Parenting begins even before the child is born. When a girl gets married, she is already ready to become a mother, she is not taught to “live for herself,” her main career is home and family. If motherhood and fatherhood are initially viewed as a burden, a limitation, then raising a good child will be very difficult. As you know, where you direct your strength is where you get it. In an effort to raise successful, independent and firmly standing children, Jewish sages developed an entire system of education, which in Israel anyone can familiarize themselves with at special parenting courses. There are similar courses at synagogues and Jewish schools in many cities around the world and in Russia. Here is the first law of successful upbringing - it begins with your own upbringing and training, the acquisition of separate professions “wife and mother” and “husband and father”. 7. Teach children to manage time correctly Jewish children do not know what laziness and idle hanging around the yards are: violin, English, mathematics - all at the same time and in large quantities. From an early age, children are taught that being constantly busy is normal. Next I would like to quote J. Korczak. Janusz Korczak (Polish: Janusz Korczak; real name: Polish: Henryk Goldszmit; 1878 - 1942) - an outstanding Polish teacher, writer, doctor and public figure. Korczak’s pedagogical activity is based on the formation of skills of self-knowledge, self-control, and self-government in the children's team and in individual students . During the years of the occupation of Poland by Nazi Germany, Korczak heroically fought for the lives of children in the Warsaw ghetto; died in the gas chambers of Treblinka along with 200 of his pupils. 10 COMMANDMENTS OF JANUSZ KORCZAK FOR PARENTS 1. Don’t expect your child to be like you or the way you want. Help him become not you, but himself.2. Do not demand payment from your child for everything you have done for him. You gave him life, how can he thank you? he will give life to another, then to a third, and this is an irreversible law of gratitude.3. Do not take out your grievances on your child, so that in old age you do not eat bitter bread. For whatever you sow, that will come back.4. Don't look down on his problems. Life is given to everyone according to their strength, and rest assured, it is no less difficult for him than for you, and maybe more, since he has no experience.5. Don't humiliate!6. Don't forget that the most important meetings a person has are his meetings with his children. Pay more attention to them - we can never know who we meet in a child.7. Don't beat yourself up if you can't do something for your child. Remember, not enough has been done for the child if everything has not been done.8. A child is not a tyrant who takes over your entire life, not just a fruit of flesh and blood. This is the precious cup that Life has given you to store and develop creative fire within. This is the liberated love of a mother and father, who will grow not “our”, “their” child, but a soul given for safekeeping.9. Learn to love someone else's child. Never do to someone else what you would not want done to yours.10. Love your child in any way - untalented, unlucky, adult. When communicating with him, rejoice, because a child is a holiday that is still with you. If you want good things to be remembered as basic knowledge, then positive reinforcement is necessary. An example of how a mother began to encourage her child to spell correctly. The “green pen” method was used by Tatyana Ivanko when she taught her daughter!