Why do I think so? It just so happens that from childhood we are instilled with the idea that a man must pursue a girl with all his might, look after and take care of her, protect her as a kind of “treasure”, do everything for her and for her sake, take her from himself and give her to her, wear her briefcase/bags, solving all her problems, consciously getting used to being in some kind of “slavery” to her. And men begin to invest, give them gifts, make repairs, buy cars and apartments, help with studies/treatment/business/vacation and so on, over time turning from a man into a kind of “baborab”, whose main goal is to serve the lady of his heart and be her " knight.” And the same pattern of behavior persists among many men when leaving/after leaving their beloved girl. Even when a girl finds a new boyfriend, her ex actively and persistently continues that same “struggle” for the girl - writes, calls, calls for meetings, helps, persuades her to be with him, resolves her issues, sends flowers and brings gifts. Those actions of men that I listed above are, in essence, classical “deerism.” Wooing a girl in this format and “fighting” for her is deerism. A deer is a man who persistently pursues women, agrees with them in everything, wants to shower them with money and gifts, ingratiates himself with them. A deer is a man who runs after a woman who doesn’t love him/who doesn’t need him. Deerism is the alienation by a man of any resources (monetary, time, emotional) in favor of a woman, without a commensurate response to this from the woman. Deer is manipulated by society - advertising , various social clichés, propaganda in the media, matriarchal legislation (dating back to the times of the CIS), examples of families from the environment, various “psychologists” and “psychologists” from social networks and the media, and the girl herself - her awareness of her high importance for a man in itself is the strongest lever for manipulation over a weak male. Why is your ex’s new boyfriend most likely a deer? I have long noticed the classic clichéd behavior of most men during the period when they met a new pretty girl and saw that she fell for him, From the first days they begin to shower her with attention/communication/flowers/gifts and other things. They help them with everything, from moving to helping them solve absolutely any of the girl’s problems, including giving/borrowing money to the girl, etc. In fact, they do everything that from the first days labels them that very “deer”. Why will a normal adequate girl never be with a deer? A deer is a deer because for him the appearance of any more or less attractive girl is a kind of an incredible event, he grabs at this chance like a saving straw, and fearing to lose this “gift of fate”, instantly falling in love with the first person he meets, he inflates the importance of the girl in his head to the skies. A deer does not have the proper skills/level and an effective male model of behavior with girls, so it is his lot and destiny to bend to a girl in everything and lavish her with gifts, investments and his attention - simply to “deer”. Olenism is essentially weakness and not masculinity, deerism this is an uncontrollable dependence on a girl, a lack of masculine core and character, a lack of independence and self-sufficiency. The deer always tries to be nice and comfortable. So, no sane girl will ever be with such a weak male for a long time and will never take him seriously. How not to be a deer? For me personally, not to be a deer means keeping yourself within your personal boundaries, and not violating the personal boundaries of another person. Rely only on yourself and move through life impartially, having your own goals and pursuing your interests. Do not run after girls and behave appropriately to the current situation. Control your feelings and emotions. Do not humiliate yourself and do not suffer. Have your own principles and willpower. If a girl leaves me, I realize that I come first and not her. If I need.