Essay about the group “I’m in a relationship.” One of our participants decided to leave the group. She voiced this at the last meeting, and yesterday she came to say goodbye to the group. I am grateful to this participant for the new experience. For the first time in a group format (I also write about my client practice), I experienced a qualitative end to a relationship. Sometimes people do not even dare to come and say goodbye to the group, thereby devaluing everything that has been passed and experienced together, making it very difficult for others to touch their feelings in connection with their departure, depriving them of the chance to personally express everything that remains unspoken. The group remains in a fever for a long time after such a departure. There is too much that remains unmanifested, and it is difficult to manifest in such conditions. Most often, people report: “Today is my last meeting, I won’t come again.” And then the group has more opportunities to survive the breakup ecologically and react to their feelings. But, firstly, such events happen suddenly, and many people “freeze” from the surprise and cease to understand how they feel. And when at the next meeting they “catch up”, then again there is no one to express. And secondly, there are so many feelings that they open up in layers. And again, one meeting is not enough to understand all the layers. In our last case, everything was gradual and therefore very felt. I will write somewhat generally. Naturally, everyone’s processes were individual. But there was something in common. At first everyone was confused - a natural reaction to the unexpected. Then they expressed regret. And this regret was (as it seems to me) not about the participant and her future absence, but rather about the fact that the familiar world suddenly began to change (collapse?). Then came the time of discontent and specific complaints. It was a long process, raising different states. The group suddenly went from being accepting and supportive to becoming angry and aggressive. There were even words: “It’s good that you’re leaving, you won’t slow down the group.” There was a lot of anger, and I’m glad that it manifested itself so clearly, and that everyone remained intact, no one was destroyed. The group ended on sad sentimental notes, but some still had sparkles in their eyes. The situation is clearly not over. And here is yesterday's meeting. Much has already settled down and been digested, much has been realized. And new feelings appeared. Suddenly they began to notice that everyone was very different, and suddenly they began to notice their intolerance in certain matters. They talked about sympathy, about fear. Fear of not being able to cope with something difficult in a group and also leaving without getting what you came for. Fear that now everyone will want to leave and the group will fall apart. Suddenly they noticed the presenters: “What, are you now bringing us new participants (giving birth to new children)?” And when we dealt with these experiences, a feeling of gratitude came. Gratitude to each other for supporting and helping with their presence. Because through them, others begin to see themselves better. For withstanding attacks, for forgiving. And then it got really warm. And then the sadness associated with a specific loss appeared. This meeting was very deep and significant for me. She gave me a lesson in slowness and deep penetration. This was the “perfect” breakup for me. And such separations do not throw the group back, but take them to the next level.