Hello! Yesterday I was typing an article on my laptop, I looked up and saw that in the sentences I wrote there was not a single letter “I” J))) Therefore, the meaning of what was written was unclear. (I guess that apparently one of my relatives (most likely the one who will soon be 18) did something to the laptop, and now the letter “I” is difficult to press). And I also think, what if a woman who wants to be in relationships, there is also the same problem. Well, not in the sense that her letter on the keyboard cannot be pressed, but in the sense of distortion due to an error. Only these are distortions of relationships. For example, she may be afraid of men, and not know about her fear (like I didn’t know about the letter). Unfamiliar with her fear, she will build relationships with men based only on one desire, not to face what scares her. And many things can frighten her: that her partner will leave her, that she won’t like her the way she is, that she will be hurt again, etc. And then he will not create close relationships, but will maintain external, “mask” relationships, where you cannot offend anyone, but you also cannot fall in love. Ignorance of her fear will distort the relationship (just as the absence of a letter distorts the meaning of what is written) Or, for example, a place in her heart has already been taken, but she does not know about it. How can it be? Very simple. She could love someone very much (her dad or her first love, or maybe her second), then the relationship ended. Finished, but not finished. There are a lot of feelings left in them: resentment, anger, disappointment, sadness, shame, fear, and maybe love. And these feelings take up so much space that it is not possible to place anything else. How can you not know about this? It’s also as simple as shelling pears. There are many feelings, they are painful. To remain relatively healthy, the psyche turns on the repression mechanism and you stop feeling. Now your feelings live in your body, telling every suitable (literally and figuratively) man that you are very tense and busy with other things. Or, she may not accept the man. She accepts it verbally and smiles, and says all sorts of words, and she pushes the bouquet with his flowers under the sink or throws it away (well, she doesn’t like such flowers). And she goes to a restaurant with him, and then with her friends she laughs at his choice of dishes, clothing and restaurant. The man holds the door for her, and she “I myself!” He said to her: “You look great,” and she: “It’s so good, I didn’t have time to put on makeup, I can’t buy a dress and blah blah blah.” He told her: “Sit down!” She: “Thank you, I’ll stand.” And then surprise: “What’s wrong with me?” Sometimes it is difficult to determine how we distort relationships. Sometimes this method is our defense against the emotional pain of the past and is not easy to give up. Sometimes this method is part of our Shadow (what we don’t know about ourselves or try not to know) and remains outside the field of our consciousness. Sometimes this method seems natural to us and the only correct one. What is your way of not entering into close relationships? How do you distort reality? What letter is missing from your relationship keyboard? Find out here. Sincerely, Yulia Minakova.