Sometimes we continue to see our elderly parents as an all-powerful mother or father, not realizing that it’s time for us to become their mothers and fathers, friends... My grandmother died in 2015. I couldn't come to the funeral. I was walking in the park. The water in the river was very clear, there were fallen leaves at the bottom, it was sad and dreary. This was the first death since I left home. Grandma was the only one I didn’t say goodbye to before leaving, because then I had to make a decision and act very quickly. Afterwards I wrote her a letter, where I told her where I now live, what the city looks like, and wrote that I would come as soon as possible, that we would still celebrate her 80th birthday. But, Alas, this was not destined to come true... Earlier, probably the last year before leaving, I began to be interested in the history of my family, because there was an impression that there seemed to be no one before my grandmother, there was some feeling of isolation from the family from the clan . I began to come to her and just be silent, then talk and ask about her life. At first she was surprised and said, why do you need this? But she still said that at these moments she had enlightenment in her consciousness, she calmed down, I once gave her a violet in a pot, so she filled it with water. I learned a lot of interesting things about her life, and I wanted to know more about our family. The most interesting thing is that she behaved normally only with me; with the rest of the family everything was the same. It must be said that her character was not simple. This is not the grandmother that people go to visit for the summer, I was even a little afraid of her sometimes, she knew how to say a word, and manipulate, and “take a brain”. The difficult life with her grandfather affected her character. And the events of her childhood, when her father was taken away, as she described by “men in black” in 1937, her grandfather was the head of DOSAAF in our city. He never returned, then later, many years later, there was an article in the newspaper about those rehabilitated, and he was also on the list. Some of the good memories as a child were that she would bring candy when she came and holidays with lavish treats that she loved to throw. Why am I writing all this to the fact that older people can feel lonely and sad, many of their illnesses are caused precisely by the psychological component of relationships - because of “not love and fears”, and it doesn’t matter whether they themselves built such relationships or to them they were treated unfairly this way. And it’s good if there is at least one person nearby who is ready to show care, attention, give a little of their time to listen or just be nearby. Probably it is my experience of relationships with my grandmother that gives me a reverent attitude towards older people, although sometimes you need patience with them, a lot of patience, care and a sense of humor. I decided to help older people. After all, life continues at this age and you want to live with dignity and actively, to feel needed. And our relatives are a treasure trove of stories and life lessons, from which it would be good for us to draw conclusions or simply store them as a family archive. If you know someone who needs help, you can share my contacts.