From the author: I am here to change your life for the better together with you. Gunkova Yulia. For many, loneliness is a frightening monster that cannot kill, but will cause torment. Loneliness weaves its webs like a spider. If you are caught in them like a fly, it will be difficult to get out. And some people associate loneliness with the subway, where people meet their gaze for a moment and then move on. There is a crowd around, and formally you are in society, but no one needs you. Solitude is a dark room with velvet walls. It seems comfortable and familiar, but your loved ones are behind the walls. And you built these walls yourself, with your actions and thoughts. In the imagination of children, loneliness looks strange and unnatural. After all, loving parents are usually nearby, so loneliness seems only like a picture from science fiction films - for example, waking up as the only inhabitant on the planet. The concept of “loneliness” among adults is not so formal - they are afraid of being alone in a crowd, surrounded by thousands of indifferent people. But the fair half of humanity has more specific ideas about loneliness. Of course, remaining unnecessary and uninteresting to others - colleagues, friends - is scary. But the real horror is caused by the thought of life without a faithful companion of the opposite sex. After all, ladies really need a knight who will always help and protect! Captured by these fears, we sometimes behave very unwisely. We are afraid of losing our current partner, even if he behaves in a completely unchivalrous manner and is very far from ideal…. We are afraid of never meeting a suitable man in the abstract future, thereby daily lowering our mood in the real present... Just think about it - according to sociological surveys, ladies are more afraid of loneliness than death or an incurable disease! You've probably heard that if you are afraid of something, then this very phenomenon will come into your life. Endless fears, apprehensions, anxieties, worries fetter the mind and prevent you from thinking. As a result, you end up doing something completely different from what you really should do. It is quite natural that the results of such frantic, thoughtless activity will be disastrous. Each of us can easily remember examples of such situations. Let's say your dream job looms on the horizon. You're going to an interview, but you're scared to death of being late for it. So what's the result? You arrive later than the appointed time because you missed the bus, on the way a ridge has formed on your tights, and your curls, which took an hour and a half to style, have treacherously changed their shape, not for the better. It seems that you are not to blame for anything, because everything happened by chance... But this is only at first glance. After all, if you had not been scrolling through scary pictures in your head about the upcoming interview, you would have been attentive and acted more thoughtfully. For example, I ordered a taxi in advance, thought out a suitable outfit, did my hair, and created the right mood. Simple actions, but why didn’t you do that? After all, it could! But while getting ready for the interview, fear took over your mind. As a result, we have what we have, and not what we would like. Most likely, you have a friend who feels real horror at the thought of being left alone. Having a man for her is a mandatory attribute of a “normal” life. She does everything in order not to spend evenings alone. A strange paradox - men, having been next to her for some time, dissolve on the horizon. If a representative of the strong half of humanity lingers in the role of her chosen one, then he behaves in the most inappropriate manner. And in the end, the woman still feels lonely and unwanted. Her fears move from her thoughts into real life. It is worth understanding that what you are afraid of will definitely happen. In order not to be and feel lonely, you need to stop being afraid of this. Imagine a swamp that with every new movement draws you deeper and deeper. It's the same with fear. With every thought about him, you plunge deeper and deeper into this dark water of doubts, anxieties andfears. In fact, there is nothing mystical or supernatural in this state of affairs. This is simple self-hypnosis. The way out of the situation suggests itself - you need to stop thinking about loneliness, stop being afraid of it. It’s easy to recommend this, but how to implement it in practice? Don’t think of the world around you as a place where terrible troubles await you around every corner. There are a lot of opportunities around, ways to realize what you want. After all, at heart, each of us is a sorceress who has everything necessary to change the world around us. You just need to believe in it, and confirmation of new thoughts, that is, changes in life, will come very soon. Learn to think positively, without using “no.” For example, you are afraid of loneliness, which means that you formulate all your desires in connection with this concept - “I don’t want to be alone,” “I don’t want to lose my loved one.” Now imagine that you look at the world positively, calmly and confidently. The word "loneliness" is absent from your thoughts. Then the desires will sound differently - “I want to meet a life partner,” “I want to always be close to my loved one.” You need to think about what you really want, and not about what you don’t want. The point is that our consciousness has one specific feature - it does not perceive, does not understand the “not” part. After all, we acquired our negative ideas about the world and fears over time. Your mind resists denial the best it can. After all, a person is born to be happy. Your consciousness has just such a program: to perceive only positive and pleasant thoughts, cutting off the pessimistic “not.” You think or say, “I don’t want to be lonely,” but your mind perceives, “I want to be lonely.” In order to stop being afraid of loneliness, you need to prepare for it in as much detail as possible. It sounds paradoxical, but this method works. Why are children afraid of the dark? Because they don't know what's in it. Same for adults. Being alone is frightening in the unknown. After all, when a man is nearby, everything becomes quite certain - going to the cinema together, preparing food every day, and the responsibility for making decisions can be safely transferred to the shoulders of the partner. A woman without a man often feels insecure because she does not know what to do herself, what her independent life will look like. Come up with your own plan of action, one that you would like and enjoy. Hobbies, sports, socializing with friends – you can find a lot of exciting activities! Of course, balance must be maintained. Completely immersing yourself in work or sitting at home every day in the evenings with embroidery is unlikely to contribute to the improvement of your personal life. The main thing is that you must understand for yourself that the period of absence of a man in your life is only a certain period of time that has an end. So why spend part of your life thinking about how temporarily unhappy you are? After all, loneliness is an excellent chance to engage in self-development, travel... Being alone is sometimes not entirely pleasant, but not at all fatal or tragic. We all dreamed of finding a “soul mate.” But think about it - do you really consider yourself half, something that has no independent value? This opinion is the path to complete dependence on the man who is nearby. Of course, people who love each other will depend on each other to some extent. But the situation when you are waiting for a man to call in the evening because you don’t know what to do yourself is unhealthy. Or, for example, he leaves for a couple of days, and your only activity, field for thought, becomes his arrival. When he is nearby, you think only about your relationship, waiting for the meeting as the light at the end of the tunnel. This lifestyle will only lead to suffering in the future, because it is a real addiction, similar to addiction to alcohol and drugs. And what normal man would be interested in a woman who, instead of telling something about the past day, sharing pleasant emotions, will once again find out how he.