From the author: The article is posted on the website of the school-lyceum "Turan" in the "Advice to Parents" section If your child is a pessimist Often, even the most loving and caring parents are faced with the phenomenon of pessimism and discontent child. I witnessed an incident in a family of my friends when their seven-year-old son began to cry with disappointment after receiving a car for his birthday that was not the model he had dreamed of. The car was expensive, with a remote control, but this could not console the birthday boy. And, probably, each of us can remember similar situations. There are children who are not happy about success if they got not first, but second place. Others defiantly neglect their studies if they believe that the teacher is not paying enough attention to them. For some, the inability to get the desired toy or fashionable sweater is a real tragedy. They don’t know how to appreciate one true friend, because they want to have a whole crowd of fans. Why does this happen? Not everyone is familiar with the word “frustration.” But we often encounter situations in which this condition occurs in life. And our children even more so. From Latin this word is translated as “deception”, “unjustified expectation”, “disappointment”. A person finds himself in this state when faced with insurmountable obstacles on the way to his goal. Try to remember how you felt in front of a store window. It contains the thing that you have dreamed of, but are not able to buy. One person knows how to control himself in such situations. And the other doesn’t know how and doesn’t want to restrain himself, and his anger pours out on a loved one or just someone who happens to be handy. But even if indignation and irritation are driven inside, they continue to torment, sometimes for a very long time. Mental balance is lost. In such a situation, it is no easier for a small person than for a big one. Sometimes it seems that he is not able to limit his material desires at all. But his ability to satisfy his needs is much less than that of an adult. And what he often needs is not a new toy or dress, but in this way confirmation of his importance to his loved ones. This is one of the basic needs, like the need for love, support and security, the need to understand the world. If a child is in constant tension, which breaks out in outbursts of anger and rage, parents should think about it. It is possible that he feels himself standing face to face with an insurmountable obstacle. Sometimes adults, even noticing this barrier, are in no hurry to help overcome it. In relation to a growing child or teenager, this may be the right tactic. And that's not always the case. For example, some believe that if a son or daughter does not have good relationships with classmates, they are rejected, then they themselves must find a way out - this will develop in them the ability to establish contacts with people. However, there is another point of view: with such a parental attitude, the child feels powerless and unnecessary. One of the main needs is not satisfied - for support. Such children then often do not know how and do not consider it necessary to protect their loved ones. Often, parents themselves create barriers in front of the child with numerous prohibitions and restrictions. It is not difficult to predict that a chronic state of frustration can affect the formation of character. Whether a child grows up to be an optimist or a pessimist depends on how he evaluates his past life experiences. It turns out that what actually happened to us in childhood is not so important. It is important how these events remain in our memory. And here the opinion of parents and their assessment play an important role. For example, if you see only flaws in everyone around you, then your children will perceive people the same way. Everyone knows that the same event can be interpreted in completely different ways. There would be a goal, and positive aspects can always be found in it. Surely you will find such an example in your memory or in your current life: unpleasant circumstances led to an unexpectedly good result. Exactly according to the Russian proverb: “There would be no happiness, but misfortune.