A short note about the “orders” in a family where a third (or fifth) appears, but a very small one. Based on my own feelings and the feelings of my clients and friends, I came to the conclusion that family order should be as follows: the mother takes care of the baby, the little one accepts this care, and the father takes care of the MOM!!! Why is this so? Because a woman who has just given birth herself to some extent turns into a child, otherwise it does not work out. Otherwise, she cannot be close to the baby. And at this moment the mother is in the most vulnerable position. Since she seems to be big, she must take care of her, protect her... But on the other hand, she feels extremely unprotected. Mom cannot feed herself, rest, take a shower, leave, etc. as before. When the little one appears, all her attention is concentrated on him, so that the child is healthy, well-fed, and happy. Mom's needs are not being adequately met. Even realizing what she wants, mom can’t always afford it: go out of town, sleep an extra 2 hours, eat slowly, clean the apartment as she would like. That is why, in the first year, dad must “take mom in his arms.” Well, of course it SHOULD not, but I would like it to be so. Offer the mother rest, feed her (sometimes even from a spoon), listen (communication has an important function for a woman, but it is often lacking when the baby arrives). But something else often happens. Dad begins to take care of either himself or the child, which sometimes harms mom more than helps. Some dads begin to protect the child from the mother, thereby beginning an unequal battle with the “mother-child” and “husband-adult”. The birth of a child is the highest period of male responsibility, adulthood, maturity. Many people cannot cope with this. Then the mother is forced, to the detriment of her child, to be big and strong and take care of the little one, herself and her HUSBAND. In this case, this is a direct request for family consultation. Take care of yourself! Take care of men! Take care of your children!