#thoughtsnobTo be honest...-We've been together for a year now, but he never proposed to me. I am suffering, I don’t know whether to continue a relationship that is leading nowhere. My friend comfortably sat on the balcony of a five-star hotel in Krasnaya Polyana with a glass of champagne, a sign that she was prepared to suffer beautifully. -Nella, you are a psychologist, you should know , what should I do! Here it is, a phrase worth a million, but not dollars, but once I heard it! Indeed, I should know everything... I always grin involuntarily when something like that is heard in my direction. Did I really take a couple of days off so that 24 hours a day I could enjoy not the singing of birds, but the complaints of a woman’s heart. “If there are demands in love, this is not love, but a game from a position of strength,” I said... On my long-awaited weekend I wanted just be silent. At some point, movement below on the first floor caught my attention. I began to watch how the mother carried the child out into the courtyard, where there were fewer eyes. A disabled girl of about twelve sat silently in her chair, looking at the sky, while she SMILED! I could not hide from the fragments of thoughts and feelings that pierced me: she will never dance, she will not be able to put her children to bed, she will not run after the departing train with her loved one, she will not .... This is what can make suffer. The girl continued to catch the clouds floating above her head. Then I thought that she was much stronger than us, and that people choose to sleep on the go, completely unaware of what is happening around them, complaining about others, justifying their hopelessness, mourning the past. There's not a minute to waste. Now stop stealing from yourself the time that is given to you, because someone up there has a plan for each of us. You don’t want to fall under the influence of toxic losers who professionally trample on their future, managing time like inherited rich people. They spend their evenings in bars having unnecessary conversations about “nothing,” desperately creating one-night stands. They buy things, satisfying the emotional hole. Clothes...accessories...brands are part of the mass race. The car can turn into pieces of unnecessary metal, the house can be demolished by a hurricane. You work to make it more beautiful... I want the “Stop” rule to work, so that it lights up with a red light in the moments when my memory takes me away from that day in the hotel, and I forget the promise I made to myself: “Live every minute without complaining and whining." I have no right to this. Having plunged into someone else's painful world, I recognized what luxury mine is filled with, and it does not consist of precious metals or anything else from a collection of materiality. I am healthy, I have arms and legs, I don’t need anyone’s help to move. I often ask myself the question: “If today is the last day of my life, will I be where I am now and doing what I am doing?” It is this approach that allows you to resist the temptation to flush what you have down the toilet and not get confused in your everyday routine. I once experienced a panic attack; it came to me at night. I woke up because I couldn’t breathe, my heart was pounding, and other accompanying “pleasant” states. Having read this as a signal that I was going down the wrong path, I left a highly paid job, where I felt locked up, following someone else’s orders and instructions. I was pursued by loved ones with labels of social consciousness, dissuading me and frightening me with unpleasant prospects, what if... Since then, my life has been divided into before and after. Now I know what it means to be in your place, how to not be afraid to achieve what you want. I had the courage not to hold on to someone else's prestige and create my own. But more on that in another article, otherwise you can drool over beautiful phrases for a long time, although they do not change the essence. Now let's return to that fleeting vacation and my friend. A barrage of questions in which I saw myself many years ago continued to rain down on my head: - What if he doesn’t call? - Maybe I’m just a toy for him? - What if I