The article was published in RIVERA magazine. Reorienting children's behavior. Every parent should know this! I don't like the words "should". But in relation to the picture of relationships between parents and children that I observe, I cannot help but apply it. I’m tired and painful of watching mothers yell at their children in the middle of the street, destroying the last shreds of self-respect for this little angel. And on the contrary, it’s crazy to see how, by indulging in everything, parents raise an irresponsible egoist. And I understand that parents are also not to blame when they try to raise a strong, responsible person with their senseless actions, but achieve the opposite effect. They just DON'T KNOW HOW. And I didn’t know how either... until I met Tatyana Lisovskaya, an excellent psychologist who has been working with children for more than 15 years. She revealed to me very simple secrets of how to raise your children kindly, with love and joy. So, 3 most important aspects of relationships with children from Tatyana Lisovskaya. Every parent MUST know this! Advice exists so that no one follows it Aspect No. 1 “If a child constantly requires a lot of attention” - Mom, look how I can do it! Maam, look! Look at me! Sometimes it seems that the child is simply testing our patience. Requires too much attention. First, let's figure out why this happens. Constant pestering occurs for one simple reason: for a child, getting attention = getting love = your time! This means that the little man lacks this very love. Most often, children do not receive 100% attention. Instead, they hear, at best, a fleeting “well done!”, at worst, “leave me alone, don’t bother me!” If this is your case, then follow the simple rules. Once or twice a day, give your child “one hundred percent attention”, namely, put aside everything you are doing, sit down at your child’s eye level, hug and talk to him alone and only to him. Pay all your attention, all your interest ONLY to your son or daughter! You will be surprised how quickly the child will get enough of your love and run off to do his own thing. This is literally a 3-5 minute question! But only one hundred percent attention! It is advisable to do this not at the moment when the child is already starting to “get tired”, but at the moment when everything is calm. Take time and do it every day. After a week or two, you will be pleased to note that the child has stopped “pulling” you, because he knows for sure that he is loved and is fed by your love regularly. Aspect No. 2 “If the child systematically does not do what you ask” Often children either “forget” about requests to clean the room or take out the trash, or enter into a direct argument: “I don’t want to! I won’t!” It is important to understand the origins of this behavior. There are 4 reasons why a child explicitly or implicitly ignores the demands of his parents: 1. “Struggle for power”; 2. "Revenge"; 3. “Attracting attention”; 4. “Avoidance.” We analyze all these 4 motives and learn to identify them in our children in the “Reorientation of Child Behavior” course, which regularly takes place at “Complete.” Now, as an example, let’s take only one of the motives and figure out what to do. For example, to your repeated requests, the child powerlessly answers “I can’t.” If you want to do this for the child yourself, then this is the 4th reason for not doing it – “Avoidance”, when the child does not believe in his own abilities and always counts on outside help. The child gives up and says: “I can’t.” The parent rushes to help, okay, they say, I’ll do everything myself, go for a walk. As a result, we get an insecure person who is unable to live independently. Therefore, it is important to remember: do not do his child’s work for him, no matter how much it may seem to you that all this is trifle. Our main task is to give the child faith in himself, to show that we believe in him and he can do it! We do the following step by step: immediately after the next “I can’t!” We say “You can do it!” I believe in you! Do it!" and... we leave the room. Surprisingly, but true, after a while the child begins to gain weight