From the author: Article from my website. Published a long time ago) They say that the one who walks can master the road. You stepped here, viewing the page. I think this is a small, but already a step in finding the best for yourself. I support this interest and desire of yours and am ready to share with you my view of the possibilities along this path. Worried about the current state of affairs, a person usually strives for the best. These can be various situations: when you are alone (alone) or with someone nearby (with loved ones, acquaintances, strangers), at home or at work or in another place, etc. That is, somewhere, sometime and, perhaps, next to someone. At such moments you do something (:or don’t do:). For example, you communicate, think, restrain, act, interact, etc. In a word, you are active, even if you are just lying on the couch. Agree, to do something means, at a minimum, to have the skill, the ability to do it. At the same time, some of your abilities developed more during your life, others less. How your abilities develop is largely determined by your life values ​​and beliefs. What you consider important, right, and what you consider unimportant and wrong. It is important that what you value, what you are convinced of, is such based on your ideas about yourself, about life, about this world. Look, this is a chain of mutually influencing sequences. Moreover, please note that when considering it in reverse order, each higher-lying link becomes organizing for all lower-lying ones. In reverse order, it looks like this (Bateson-Dilts LU): Your ideas about yourself, about life, about this world determine your life values: what is important and right, and what is unimportant and wrong. In turn, these beliefs and attitudes of yours contribute , or inhibit the development of one or another of your abilities. Accordingly, what you have more abilities for, you do better and more often. And vice versa. And you do this (:or don’t:) in certain situations, in a certain environment: somewhere, sometime, perhaps next to someone. And at the same time you experience various emotions, sensations, feelings, desires. Our life is unthinkable without communication. When communicating, we exchange: emotions, feelings, actions, information, energy.1) If an emotion, feeling, desire arose while communicating with someone, then you can express them directly to this person or his image (the second option is safer, sometimes turning into creation). This can be done immediately or after some time. True, by putting it off, there is a chance of earning a lot of sores, just a LOT. (see point No. 3). 2) They can be expressed to another person, causing him surprise, misunderstanding, or even indignation :) 3) You can try to keep them to yourself. I say try because sooner or later they will most likely manifest themselves. 4) There is an option - to train yourself to be insensitive to emotions and feelings. Some people train themselves to be insensitive, and then come with a problem: there is no joy in life, they live like robots. Such training can be useful for military affairs (especially in special forces), but not for life, unless you are a special forces soldier in life, and life is not a combat mission for you :). 5) Finally, you can engage in energy practices (qigong, yoga, meditation), TRANSFORMING the energy of these emotions and desires and developing the skill of such self-regulation. In dialogue, we influence each other’s state and behavior, whether we want it or not. By the way, this is why both participants bear responsibility for what happens in the dialogue and its results. During communication, both transmitted and perceived information can be involuntarily distorted (it would be more accurate to say that this happens all the time), leading to incorrect conclusions (beliefs), which entail corresponding emotional reactions and behavior. Further more: relationships can get so confusing... :( So, here are the key points that are useful to consider when working on the best for yourself: all levels from "situation and environment", to - "who am I in this.