Such relationships take place in a couple where one is codependent and the other is counterdependent. The relationship between them develops as follows: the codependent “sticks”, the counterdependent keeps his distance, the codependent asks for love and attention, the counterdependent gives it when he wants and in strictly dosed quantities. The codependent feels a strong need to receive these feelings and emotions, and the counterdependent craves to be deeply needed, only then does he realize that someone needs him. A codependent is a person who is insecure and very indecisive, while a counterdependent gives the impression of being self-confident, decisive and self-sufficient. It would seem that there are many differences between them, but there is one common similarity that “glues” them together. This is DEPENDENCE. Such people are maximally dependent on each other, and even the counter-dependent, with his demonstrative self-sufficiency and imaginary personal autonomy, experiences a colossal need for a partner. In this type of relationship, a pathological need comes to the fore, which is resolved by complementing each other with what each of them lacks. In this case, we are talking about primary basic needs: a feeling of security, a sense of emotional and physical comfort, reliable warm relationships and etc. Everyone has their own deficit. Such people look for support not in themselves, but in a loved one, after which wild, uncontrollable fear arises, the fear of losing this emotionally significant object - all this is the main reason why relationships occurring in the codependent-counterdependent plane are destructive. We are not talking now about what is the norm, because a man and a woman by their nature are created as halves of one whole and are a complement and continuation of each other. And deep relationships initially presuppose some emotional dependence between partners, otherwise the meaning of building relationships is lost. We are talking about extremes, pathological manifestations, which are expressed in such phrases: I can’t live without him... or When he left, my world collapsed... This inability to imagine yourself without a partner, this clear feeling that in order to be happy you definitely need an object of love, and without it there is emptiness inside you... These cases are destruction. It is important to understand: the inner core, the internal guideline is the support, which must be integrated into the overall self-concept of each person. It is this that gives inner freedom, which helps to understand: what a person wants and how to live in order to find harmony and balance. A happy, harmonious personality is filled with resources that can be shared with others, will be able to build strong partnerships, the main message of which will be: I’m great alone, I feel good and comfortable in this state, but with you I feel MUCH BETTER!!! Psychologist, Art therapist ✨ GUGUEVA IRINA I invite you to my page on VK! https://vk.com/guguewa_irina