IF YOUR CHILD IS ILL... Yes, such troubles also happen in our parental lives. Even if it’s a common cold, life in the family still begins to move in a different mode. It’s good if you have a sick leave certificate, a doctor’s prescription, and your child is recovering at home. But it also happens differently, when hospitalization is necessary, special conditions of care are needed, constant supervision by medical workers or, due to certain characteristics of the disease, periodic planned stays in rehabilitation institutions are recommended. But over the age of three in our country, children are hospitalized in inpatient medical institutions without their parents. And it is from this place, in my opinion, that serious underwater reefs begin to appear, successfully veiled by the transparent, quiet surface of the professionalism and presentability of this or that medical institution. I will not touch on the medical side of the issue, the appropriateness of prescribing medications, the attention of staff to the child’s condition - this the topic is not within the scope of my professional competence, although it is very relevant and painful. I would like to dwell in more detail on the problem of interpersonal relationships that develop between child patients behind the tightly closed doors of each hospital ward. Our own research, conducted in various inpatient children's medical institutions, has revealed a number of features that can be useful to parents, children and caring medical workers. The filling of hospital wards most often occurs chaotically and unsystematically, as beds become available. The age, social, and personal characteristics of children are not taken into account; the combination of diagnoses among the patients in the ward is not always selected optimally. As a result of such ignorance of the individual personal characteristics of patients, some children find themselves rejected by their roommates, feel loneliness, are subject to ridicule, humiliation, etc. (I don’t want to continue this list so that it doesn’t become like a horror story). When discussing the results of the study at various scientific conferences, it became clear from the reviews of colleagues that many of those who have children, grandchildren, nephews can themselves continue the list of negative situations associated with relationships between children in hospital wards. The risk group consists of preschool and junior patients scale age, regardless of their gender, boys of early adolescence, children with external manifestations of the disease, developmentally delayed, children from single-parent families. The older the child’s age, the easier it is for him to establish relationships with neighbors in the ward and take a high status position in hierarchy of interpersonal relations in the ward. Older children (14-17 years old) are in the most favorable position in relations with other members of the group. This feature is especially pronounced in the boys' wards. Relationship problems in groups of boys are associated with older children’s rejection of their younger neighbors in the ward. Older boys do not reciprocate their desire for joint communication, games, etc. with their younger neighbors in the ward, as a result of which the latter find themselves rejected or isolated. In girls’ wards, this situation is observed less frequently, since some older patients are happy to look after the younger ones and show interest and care in them. A common cause of dysfunctional relationships in the ward are external manifestations of the disease of one of the patients, such as obesity, premature sexual or physical development, delayed sexual or physical development (too short or too tall), facial features, hypotrophy or hypertrophy of body parts. This also includes all those external features that are not related to any disease, which attract the attention of other children due to their non-typicality. Moreover, if we are talking about a specific institution, where all patients have some external featuresmanifestations of diseases, such problems most often do not arise. Children with mental retardation become frequent targets of insults and ridicule from roommates. Having external characteristics corresponding, for example, to a teenager, they demonstrate the behavior of a junior schoolchild or preschooler, which is a reason for other children to reject them. Such patients feel good among children who are at approximately the same level of development. According to the study, the best position in the system of interpersonal relationships in the hospital ward is occupied by children from two-parent families. This, of course, is not a verdict, but just statistics. Patients from single-parent families are more likely to face the problem of loneliness or rejection in the ward. Among the perceived reasons why children reject their roommates, specific negative personal qualities were named: - deceives, lies (27% of the total number of negative statements) - unsociable ( 24%) - arrogant (in middle-aged and older children) (13%) - scandalous (11%) - fights (7%) - takes things without asking (6%) - interferes with sleep (4%) - other statements - mischievous , angry, doesn’t want to communicate with me, etc. (8%). As positive characteristics that became the motive for choosing a roommate for communication, games, friendship, children noted the following specific positive qualities of group members: 1. cheerful (17% of the total number of positive statements)2. sociable (12%)3. good friend (7%)4. calm (4%)5. helps with everything (4%)6. smart (2%)7. other statements (polite, tactful, relaxed, friendly, interesting conversationalist, same age) 4%; 22% gave an emotional assessment to the object of their preference: 1. kind (except for older boys) (16%)2. good (girls of all age groups) (6%); some children emphasized characteristics that imply the absence of the following negative qualities: 1. not greedy (4%)2. does not call names (3%)3. doesn’t give a damn and doesn’t pretend to be anything (among older girls) (2%)4. not talkative (in older and middle girls) (1.5%)5. does not fight (among younger boys) (1.5%)6. other statements (not questioning, not angry, not arguing, not shouting) 4%; some patients highlighted the importance of the moral qualities of their roommate: 1. understanding (4%)2. reliable (2%)3. you can trust (1.5%); the least indicated motives were related to joint activities: we go to procedures together (average girls) (1.5%) helps with studies (average girls) (1.5%) plays with me (younger girls) (1.5%). There were no indications of certain successes in any type of activity of a roommate or assessments of appearance among patients in medical institutions. It is also interesting that the child’s position in the system of interpersonal relations inside the hospital ward does not depend on his place of residence, the education of his parents, or the position they occupy. At the same time, those children who were informed about the characteristics of their disease, the upcoming treatment, and the need for prescribed procedures more easily adapted to the conditions of the institution, showed less anxiety and had easier contact with other patients. Thus, to prevent psychological trauma as a result of the child’s communication with neighbors in the ward, it would not be superfluous to keep track of what age the children will be in his direct communication, this is very important. It is better to place a shy, insecure child, who has some of the external characteristics that we discussed above, with younger children. If it is not possible to choose a room, parents will have to find time to be as present as possible in the hospital. Ask your child more often about how he communicates with other boys and girls, pay attention to uncharacteristic behavior (excessive tearfulness, isolation, hyperactivity). Be attentive, caring and calm. Explain to him why he should be in the hospital without exaggerating, focusing on the upcoming treatment, which will certainly lead to recovery. Discuss together!