Imagine putting your hand into a fire. It hurts a lot. After this, you will approach the fire with caution. The brain does not care about physical or emotional pain. He reacts the same way. Hurt! Dangerous! Stop!​We begin to avoid those places where we can feel physical or emotional pain. And here there is one big BUT! Without pain there is no life. By closing ourselves off from it, fearing and avoiding, we avoid our own lives. You cannot live without losses. You cannot live without scars, injuries, broken knees. Without pain there is no change. Change brings uncertainty. And it will definitely be painful and scary. And first of all, it’s scary that it will hurt. The task of parents is not to protect children from pain, not to raise a child in a greenhouse, but to learn to live through it. Support in it, give support, share it with the child. Then, we adults will know for sure that any loss is experienced. Any pain is finite. And we can live it. Yes, it’s hard, we’ll cry, we’ll smear green on our broken knee, but after a while we’ll get up and move on. We won’t throw slippers at our parents. They had other tasks: to survive in a changing world. We can make up for what we did not receive. That's what we do in therapy! We admit that we were hurt at some point. Perhaps the closest people caused it. We give her the right to exist. We mourn her. We recognize its value and the value of our losses. We begin to truly sympathize with ourselves when we were a baby. It’s interesting that when we run away from pain... How do we do this? Yes, unconsciously. Here our head perfectly comes up with why we don’t need business, relationships, real estate, hobbies, creativity, friendship, interesting work - everything that is important to us in life. In intimacy there is always a place of pain. Words from those closest to you always end up in the heartache. Other people's emotions can hurt. Both conditionally “positive” and “negative”. A business can fail, and that hurts. By showing your creative side into the world, you may be rejected. In real life, we can be betrayed and abandoned. The whole deep meaning of running away from pain is in the old song: “IF YOU DON’T HAVE AN AUNT...” When we run from her, she runs after us like a shadow. Therefore, it does not become easier for us. Life becomes narrower and impoverished. Suffering and fear remain, sometimes felt like constant anxiety. Suffering is not the same as living through pain. This is a kind of mental protection from it. Psychotherapy is not only about understanding what’s wrong with us, but also learning to notice our emotions, mastering the skill of living with them. It’s difficult, sometimes unpleasant. This is the price of your full, fulfilling life. With love in your heart, psychologist, body-oriented psychotherapist Yulia Sheina You can make an appointment in a personal message.