From the author: This is not about how to become successful... Rather about how to stay happy while trying to achieve success! First of all, think about what it means to you to be successful? How Is it related to income level? With recognition from colleagues? Household security? Career advancement? Or is it about making sure your child is the smartest? A spouse who fulfills all wishes? What is this about for you? And my second question is, why do you need to be successful? And who do you need to be successful for? What happens if success is not achieved? In my practice, there are cases when a client comes to me with the desire to always be successful, not to make mistakes, to have the opinion of others about himself as an intelligent and correct person. Most people believe that as soon as they achieve that notorious success, the long-awaited happiness will finally come into their lives... But that’s not the case. A person tries harder and harder, sleeps worse, becomes more and more irritable, but those around him still don’t appreciate him, and there is someone who does it better... A squirrel in a wheel. The question is who and what started the movement of this wheel and what prevents you from stopping it? Sometimes what prevents you from stopping it is the fear of failure, the fear of discovering that your peers have reached the top, and you are still at the foot of the mountain, and this seems wrong, humiliating... There is such a thing concept as a neurotic desire to achieve something. Which grows out of fear of the future, out of fear of looking bad in the eyes of others. The neurotic desire for success is combined with the inability to listen to one’s needs, the inability to correctly distribute forces and get proper rest. Naturally, this puts a person out of balance, and physical and emotional exhaustion sets in. Working through the neurotic desire to achieve teaches a person to hear himself. And this applies equally to both men and women. Of course, when a person begins to hear himself, one fine day he may discover that he does not need this success at all, or needs it, but in a completely different area. How can he learn to hear himself? Start simple - take breaks. I know people who come home from work and just relax alone for about 20 minutes. Their loved ones know about this and have been warned. This helps you recover, switch gears, collect your thoughts. Ask yourself questions: why am I doing this and what scares me that it may not work out. Compare yourself not only with the very best. Notice those who are less successful. Do you remember how it was offensive as a child when your mother said that Petya was better at mathematics, but never noticed that you were better at playing football than Vasya? Don't repeat your parents' mistakes. Appreciate your strengths. Find every day what you can be grateful for: an action or abstinence from any action, a new skill, new knowledge. Appreciate what seems small to you - after all, it’s the little things that make up the foundation for happiness. A person wants to be protected and confident in the future. This is really important. However, by destroying today (by not paying attention to loved ones, by ignoring your needs for rest), there will be no happy tomorrow either. Too much desire for something is akin to addiction - it seems impossible to live without it. Life will be miserable. But in fact, a person is unhappy precisely at the moment of super-strong desire, because he sees only what he lacks. And he doesn’t notice what he has. There is such a practice as “Letting Go.” When you notice that you are striving too much for something, imagine for 2-3 seconds that you have let it go and do without it. And then “regain” your desired goal again. The fact that you recognize the possibility of living without something does not mean that you give up and refuse. It just means that you recognize that you are strong enough to handle any situation. Your success in this world is not determined by when you start, but by when you quit. Richard Bach.