The “client” request is an important part of preparing for a meeting with a psychologist. In simple words, this is what the client wants or does not want at this stage or in the near future. This is, in fact, what you go to a psychological meeting with. And often, when coming for the first time, a person expresses his need like this: from “I would like...” to “I don’t know what I want.” At first glance, it would seem that the simplest condition - voicing your request - can be the most difficult task. Not knowing or not understanding what is happening to you, the inability to express the essence of the problem, despondency, pessimistic attitude is a normal state. There are no deviations! Form a request - 50% of successful therapy. Every word and its shades, intonation and timbre of speech, gestures and the emotional background of the client - everything matters for the psychologist. Unfinished phrases, fragments of memories, metaphors, alogisms suggest and help in the work. And the way a request for work is formed, how it is voiced, presented and experienced by the client himself, always arouses genuine professional interest in me personally. Letting everyone in Hand in hand with a “request” into the consulting room often “comes” unmet needs, childhood traumas, secondary benefits. And - oh yes - His Majesty's whim! Separating the wheat from the chaff is part of the teamwork between the client and the psychologist. It is important to let each dissatisfied part of the personality speak out, give it a place in therapy, perhaps for the first time in many years to hear the pain and tears of the human soul. This does not mean repressing it into the unconscious, but bringing it into conversation and making it conscious. Sometimes it is in the therapeutic space that clients first decide to talk about all their “dislikes, understatements, misunderstandings,” etc. How important it is to let everyone in, though - one at a time. And what next? And then the client tries to voice the request. The request varies. This is true. The request requires energy. It needs to be allocated, given away. Often the personal battery is charged to only five percent out of a hundred. From this, a person will spend the remaining energy sparingly. Or even hold it altogether. And in the “energy retention” mode it will be difficult to formulate a request. Often, the client’s choice is to switch off, rest, wait for a new portion of energy from the outside world (look, the psychologist will tell you something). Therefore, it often takes up to 4 meetings or more to formulate one request. In the format of psychological transformation games (there are many of them today), the trainer also pays the lion’s share of attention to the client’s request, as a mandatory and important part of the game process. Constructive client request If the client’s initiative is great and his involvement in working with the psychologist is obvious, the client’s request is quickly formed and often is constructive in nature. Such requests sound clearly, have no ambiguity, a minimum of water and a maximum of specifics. And, as a rule, such a request contributes to short-term therapy and saving budget, respectively, time. If difficulties arise with the formulation of the problem, the psychologist understands that the solution to the problem (its essence) cannot be reached so quickly and recommends longer consultation. I will make a reservation that neither short-term nor long-term therapy can ever guarantee a final solution to the problem / getting what you want. Any whims are justified. A destructive request sounds something like this: “change my husband’s character; I want to be loved at work; it is necessary for my son to call me twice a day; I want a lot of money and little work; save me from these memories, fear, I want to live like before, so that everything becomes like yesterday; he must do his homework; at school and obey me; I want this man and quickly, I’ve been waiting for six years to make him fall in love with me; let my parents move out to live in the country, I need this apartment already yesterday.” Behind such “requests,” as a rule, are hidden.