This is a continuation and I wrote about the beginning of the child’s separation from his mother here and here. The next period, it is called the “reunification phase,” affects the age of approximately 15-18 months to 3 years. This period is quite complex for parents, since at this age the child begins to experience very intense affective fluctuations between love and hate. The child begins to experience intense and rapid transitions between being overwhelmed by anger and overwhelmed by love. It is quite difficult to understand and endure this, both for the child himself and for the parents with whom he communicates. The child comes close to adapting to the “unsweet reality” associated with the fact that he may need two opposite things at the same time: to be independent and to be close to mom. And it can be very difficult to combine this. The child is faced with the fact that he wants both at the same time and the horror is that this is not possible, and he has to deal with it. If in the previous stages the child needed to develop the ability to cope with anxiety and learning to be alone, then an important task of this period is the ability to endure disappointments and be able to cope with it. In this phase, the child is faced with the task of separating from a loved object, which is very difficult. Why is this so difficult for a child? Because before this he had magical thinking and everything he didn’t want appeared immediately (he wanted milk - they fed him, he wanted to be held - they took him and calmed him down). And now adults have stopped fulfilling all the child’s wishes and he cannot force them to do what he wants. As a result, the child has strong anger and hysterics, and all this is on the platform of omnipotence. The child here may also have fantasies that anger is killing his mother. The child is indeed dealing with a difficult task. Also, the child is faced with a psychological task associated with the representation of the mother - this is to integrate a good and a bad image into one favorite one. That is, the child must understand for himself that he is angry with the same mother, whom in other situations he loves very much. In fact, the child is faced with the first major meeting with serious disappointments and he must develop a way to adapt to this. It is important for the child and for the parents how they can get out of this crisis. To what extent the relationship will not be completely destroyed due to a difficult period to bear. This is where parents sometimes need support. And a very important point is how mother and child will restore their relationship after this crisis. To be continued. You can read the continuation here