From the author: If you are not sexy, it means you are simply not familiar with your sexuality. “I look at myself in the mirror and don’t see any sexuality”, “I don’t feel sexual interest in myself”, “Sex for me is just an obligation”, “I was told that I’m not sexy”, “Men don’t pay attention to me. I guess I'm not sexy" - these are just some of the statements that often sound on the lips and in the minds of women. Sexuality is inherent in every person by nature. Here, nature took care, of course, not of human pleasure, but of procreation. Therefore, by definition, there are no non-sexual people. Sexuality is in everyone. Another question is what a person knows about his sexuality and sexuality in general. If a girl, since childhood, has heard statements like “Dunya let down her braids, and all the sailors follow her,” said in a dissatisfied tone, or “Only girls of easy virtue wear short skirts,” or “Oh! But she was lying! Are you going to seduce men?”, or what If not very careful expressions about your body, then your ideas about sexuality will be completely definite: “Sexuality is bad, shameful,” “You can’t be sexy (feminine).” And if there was some story about a raped girl who “wore bright makeup”, “wore short skirts, transparent sweaters, low necklines, etc.”, then in the minds of such a girl, being sexy is also dangerous. And if the girl herself was subjected to violence, then this is a completely different story. The consequences may vary, but it definitely cannot affect the girl in a positive way. These and other negative beliefs about one's sexuality, femininity, attractiveness, and the events associated with the formation of these beliefs are often forgotten and placed deep in the unconscious. And from there they directly, without awareness, influence a woman’s behavior. The positive thing here is that these beliefs can be retrieved from the unconscious, discovered, remembered and worked through. Sometimes such elaboration happens spontaneously, thanks to a wise and competent partner or some significant person. But, unfortunately, such “miraculous” and “unplanned” healings occur quite rarely and, as a rule, take place when the woman is really ready for them. It is also worth mentioning the other person’s statements regarding your sexuality. Why was this said by another person, if he was not asked about it? This is a big question, first of all, for this person. He's probably just acting out some of his pains and feelings. He probably has sexual problems himself and projects them onto other people instead of solving them. Probably something else. In any case, it is worth remembering that, having heard such unsolicited information, you have the right to protect yourself from such intrusions. At the same time, having received such a “compliment”, you should pay more attention to your reaction than to the content of the statement. A woman who is confident in her attractiveness, sexuality, and femininity is unlikely to be affected by this. But if it hurts, then there is something to work on. Working at the same time does not mean immediately running to the gym, putting on a deep neckline and applying war paint. Work on your sense of self, work on what prevents you from feeling sexy and attractive, work on yourself, first of all, from the inside. Of course, bitten nails, dirty hair and old, shabby clothes do not make you sexy. But isn't this or some other unattractive appearance just a manifestation of what's going on inside? Most likely it is. And with external influence, the problem, at best, can be solved only temporarily. Short time. There is a positive point in all this - it can be corrected! Sexuality, attractiveness, femininity do not depend on weight, age, eye and hair color, nose length, ear and chest size. A woman’s sexuality depends only on her attitude towards herself, her perception.