Depression: there and back I’ll make a reservation right away - the conversation will be about the initial stage of depression, about its mild form. What is depression? What happens before depression spreads its wings over a person? And by the way, who becomes the main thing in this company: the person or the disease? So, there lived a girl. Well, it’s not that she’s really a girl, on the contrary, she’s no longer a girl, but even a middle-aged woman, a mother of many children and the keeper of the family hearth, a successful businesswoman and a socially active person. Work, home, worries, joys - everything was enough for Irina. Life was rich and varied. Until she came, the lady with a veil over her eyes was depressed. And she came somehow quietly. She imperceptibly penetrated into the very core, where the energy and desire to live live. It turned out strange: it’s not to say that terrible events occurred, and there was no acute stress reaction either. Quite the opposite: life flowed smoothly in the July heat, work was not stressful, the children had gone to camp, and my husband was nearby. Oh, how deceptive it all is! The mind, slyly squinting, threw up reasons for excuses, and the soul trustingly reached out to these intricacies, forgetting that in fact the year was very difficult, caring for children sometimes had the tinge of a security institution, and the husband was overcome with irritation; and only a handful of love and terrible laziness did not allow him to arrange “Domostroy” in the family. It was just that one day everything began to be visible through the haze. The fog covered my eyes, crawled into my ears, and drowned out my consciousness. Gradually everything became somehow the same. The desire to control the lives of children disappeared, and along with it the desire to do anything disappeared. My husband’s harsh phrases and children’s demands began to be perceived through the haze. It became as if everything was the same, yes, yes, exactly like that: ALL THE EQUALITY - without spaces. Life has lost its meaning and other punctuation marks. And only some of her events suddenly burst into the very heart, causing uncontrollable tears. And this in itself was surprising for Irina. Because now she could cry for any reason and sob loudly. This went on for about a week. Already slightly wrapped in a cocoon of depression, our big girl became thoughtful: on the one hand, a depressive field spread out in front of her as a calm (isn’t it too!) carpet. It attracted me with the sweetness of nothingness, peace and happiness in sadness. On the other hand, Irina understood that the first losses had already occurred - the joy had disappeared. Years of therapy, a lot of money and the invaluable value of this condition for Irina were the best motivator for action. As an educated and completely adequate person, Irina asked for help. The presence of mild depression was determined. Then life provided a choice: boldly step into the depressive mess or begin to take timid steps towards the joy of being. And then the most important thing happened: the fact of the presence of a depressive state was recognized and fully accepted by the client herself, which became the first step in finding herself. Gradually, the veil was lifted, the world acquired its inherent colors, and the revived joy and love of life helped to cope with the sure agents of depression: melancholy and indifference. Today, the presence of a depressive state has become fashionable. The only person who doesn’t talk about him is the mechanic-repairman, and only because something is always breaking down somewhere, and he is forced to constantly work - he has no time for depression. Somehow it is reminiscent of decadence with its hats and languid looks, long dresses and equally long cigarettes. Information saturation with certain phrases on the topic of depression has become so intrusive that there is an assumption about some existing order (perhaps from pharmaceutical companies or the powers that be). Well, why not? They say that if you call a person a pig a hundred times, the hundred-first time he will grunt. And here you have a new generation antidepressant! Only, gentlemen, we forget one small but very important detail - man is so intelligently created that there cannot but be a gap, a pause, a period when he is for himself!