In every class there are children with whom teachers find it difficult, for various reasons. There are cases when the confrontation between teacher and child becomes critical. And then the teacher sends the family to a psychologist: “They will help you there.” Conscientious parents come with their children. But during the consultation, it turns out that neither the child nor the parent have any significant problems in their relationship with the child! Yes, a child may have moderate hyperactivity, immaturity, deficiencies in self-regulation, and insufficient development of communication skills with children and adults, but these are solvable problems and do not present any particular inconvenience to parents. Most often, parents feel good about their children and already know how to interact well with them at home. But at school, for various reasons, the teacher cannot cope with these difficulties, and then the family is sent to a psychologist. Meanwhile, I want to say that most of the problems with a child’s discipline, with his attitude to school, are caused by his RELATIONSHIP with the teacher. There is a fact proven by research: the better the child’s relationship with the teacher, the better his attitude towards learning and behavior in the classroom. And the quality of a child’s relationship with an adult depends, first of all, on the adult... Friends, colleagues. Your professionalism lies, among other things, in the extent to which you can accept each child, with all its advantages and disadvantages. Accepting means, first of all, “taking a closer look” at him, understanding how he lives, what the circumstances are at home... Remembering that even someone like him - unskilled, unwilling, rude - he is the main treasure of his parents. And he, being at school most of the day, first of all, needs your affection, your unconditionally good attitude, your understanding that a good child lives in the “core” of every student. I think deep down you all know this. But the problem is that the child does not see or feel this. How can you help him understand that he is not indifferent to you, that you do not feel personal hostility towards him? Give your “difficult” student a couple of minutes before class. Ask him a question about how he is feeling. Find what you still like about him, give him a compliment. Small and tactile you can touch. Observe him during the lesson. When does he start acting up? When does he get bored? Prepare a small interesting task especially for him for this occasion. When do you make a remark (offended)? Do it by ear! Place him closer to you. During the lesson, come and look at the notebook. Encourage, praise. Place your hand on your shoulder for one second. Call me over during recess. Not to scold or give instructions. Surprise him, find the advantages in his work. Show him that you care about him. Emphasize for him his achievements (in comparison, even with yesterday). Entrust him with some important task. Let him know that you believe in him. You have already seen more than once that punitive measures do not work. Try others! Believe me, your efforts will not be in vain. By spending a little mental energy and time, you will achieve understanding from your “thorn.” He and his parents will be grateful to you for this. I once conducted a lesson for teachers on how to establish relationships with discipline violators in the classroom, there is a summary and presentation of it. If anyone is interested in this material, write to me, and in the near future I will put it up as a product. Dear colleagues, I wish you patience and endurance, health and peace of mind. But if anything happens, we – psychologists – are nearby.