In my previous articles, I already wrote about games in which codependents actively participate. Game of power: codependency and passivity https://www.b17.ru/article/57420/ and Game of power over a partner https://www.b17.ru/article/57521/. In this article, I continue the theme of the power game and will dwell in more detail on the ways in which Karpman’s famous dramatic triangle is launched with no less famous roles: Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer (you can also read about them in my previous articles). If you want To break out of the trap of codependency, it is very important to learn to recognize and avoid the role of the Rescuer. In a situation where a partner needs help, the second partner can take on the role of a Rescuer, and the person in need of help will immediately become a Victim. In this case, the Rescuer is on top (has power), he does what he is not asked to do, and what the partner could do himself, this is precisely what allows him to keep power in his hands. The Rescuer broadcasts to the Victim: I can do this better than you You cannot do this yourself The Victim is most often depressed and after some time begins to get angry with the Rescuer , turning into a Persecutor. At the same time, the Rescuer turns into a Victim. I was only trying to help you. Developing relationships and changing roles in this way allows you to maintain the struggle for the role of the Victim, because it is in this role that you can satisfy your needs. How to avoid accepting the role of a rescuer and saving your partner? Do not help your partner silently, without his request. Ask your partner: What do you want from me? Do not consider your partner helpless (an exception may be the unconscious state of the partner). I know that you can solve this problem. Let's talk about it again. If you do help your partner, try to get him to recognize and use his power. Think of ways to solve this problem, and then tell me about them. When helping your partner, take on no more than half of it. work, let him do the second half himself. Don’t do what you don’t want to do. No, I don’t want to do it. The arrogant position of the Rescuer in front of the Victim and submission to the helplessness of the Victim leads to the accumulation of irritation and the transition of one of the roles to the role of the Persecutor. Moreover, the stronger the previous role is played, the stronger the next role of the Pursuer. How to avoid persecution of a partner? Try to eliminate situations in which you are unnecessarily in a position of superiority. This situation includes talking down and giving advice without asking. Try to share experiences and information when you have more experience, rather than doing everything for your partner. Strive for equality. If you realize that you are irritated and angry with your partner, think about whether you have done most of the things for him that he could do himself. Or something that you yourself didn’t want to do, but kept silent because you were afraid of offending. Perhaps you were a participant in a boring conversation, continued unproductive activities, or did something you didn’t want. Remember that in all cases, half of the responsibility lies with you. The more anger you have at your partner, the greater his anger and the higher the likelihood that you took part in his rescue or persecution. Remember that you are a full partner in the power game . If your irritation with your partner occurs frequently (more than once a week). You should look for your share of responsibility in this problem and take part in its solution. Do not accumulate feelings of resentment in your relationship. Try to share this experience and not hold back for a long time, encourage your partner’s constructive response. Do not provoke your partner to persecute and save you. Do not choose a sacrificial position (passivity, non-compliance with agreements, sloppy clothing and appearance, long-term illnesses). Remember that while the competition for the role of the Victim continues, the game will not stop. Learn to ask for your desires yourself/