Continuing the eternal theme of spring, love, femininity, I decided to talk about beauty again. Yesterday I wrote an article If I were my mother. Exercise There were many responses, including from a reader who was so unhappy with her appearance that she simply did not want to live. Of course, suicidal tendencies can have any basis, however, not accepting one’s appearance is a serious and deep reason. Of course, it happens that I hate myself! How to cope with dysmorphophobia? But there are also plenty of objective reasons. I remember myself when I was 14-15 years old, after being rejected by the boy I liked. Unrequited love, “a head in pain” New Year. I watched the movie “Three Nuts for Cinderella” and I lay there and sobbed about the fact that I’m no match for Cinderella, whatever! I’m even worse than my mother’s daughter! Overweight, crooked teeth, there’s not a hitch on my face, for what it’s possible to get hooked and say that at least I’m pretty. Later I found what is beautiful in my face. This is skin. It's a small thing, but it's there! And also slanted eyes with a strange cut, after I learned how to draw them, they began to give my face some piquancy. But then, when I was lying sobbing, buried in the pillow, the words of my mother and grandmother: - Don’t be stupid! This is all nonsense! Nonsense! Then there was a long journey of finding myself, my hairstyle, makeup, my style of clothing, correcting my teeth and bite. Several of my clients who also corrected objective problems with their appearance themselves (names have been changed): Elizaveta, 28 years old. Outwardly, I have changed - braces, plastic surgery to correct an overly large nose, and I constantly go to the gym. But internally she remains flawed, men sense this and quickly run away. Lyudmila, 44 years old. I have achieved a lot - a career, an apartment, a car, but no family, no loved one. It's hard to believe that he will appear. I'm always abandoned, like that little, ugly girl at school everyone ignored. Men still feel that they are not a woman, a misunderstanding. Svetlana, 56 years old. I never started a family. I got used to my appearance and didn’t change anything, but it never brought me happiness. I want to learn to live lightly and calmly, enjoy the little things, learn to love my loneliness. - What sad words! But everything could have been different if my parents had taken the problem seriously. Quite recently, my mother had surgery to replace the knee joint. A very badly curved leg has been completely straightened out! If a girl has objectively crooked legs, crooked teeth, bite problems, or something else that, alas, takes away her attractiveness, the achievements of modern medicine can help you! And the sooner the better! A lot can be done through compulsory medical insurance, for example, operations for cleft palate and cleft lip. Although investing in a child’s appearance is no less important than paying for education. If a girl is overweight, this is an important marker to think about how you eat. Reconsider your eating habits !Bulimia and anorexia are a separate topic, requiring immediate help from a specialist! Although, any dissatisfaction with appearance, no matter whether it has objective reasons or not, is also a reason to consult a psychologist! Probably, if during my adolescence there had been such an opportunity, everything would have been possible It’s easier later. And it also happens: A ban on beauty. About family scenarios. I also worked on this topic for a very long time in personal therapy, and now I work with my clients. And again I would like to quote the poems that became the anthem of childhood, mine and many of those who considered themselves ugly. PS What do you think about this? If a girl has objective flaws in her appearance, is intervention necessary? Yes, she needs the help of a plastic surgeon or another doctor. She only needs the help of a psychologist, if necessary. She needs the help of a doctor, physical therapy and the help of a psychologist. I wouldn’t spare any money for the child to become beautiful, and therefore happy. I think , only physical education and proper nutrition, if the girl is fat. No help is needed, they managed somehow before and now they can cope. My answer is in the comments