How can a woman not lose HERSELF in a relationship with a man? in a relationship with a man? When women read advice on how to be wise and feminine, these tips often feel like a “knife to the heart.” The woman feels indignant: why should I do all this? “Why should I think, play, somehow adapt to him, understand, be patient?” Usually these indignations are uttered by women who are tired of men and relationships. They have a deep conviction that they have already devoted too much of themselves to relationships, and the result is “zero.” I agree, if you are at work all the time, it won’t take long to undermine your health . If you start living with a man, you begin to overstep yourself, then this leads to resentment, fatigue and disappointment. There is no need to do this. As soon as a woman begins to do something for the sake of a man, for the sake of a relationship, then she secretly always expects gratitude or at least a reciprocal step from the man. When no reciprocal steps are received, a new wave of resentment and anger covers the woman. And the woman unconsciously begins to take revenge on the man for their grievances, and female revenge is much subtler and hits the most vulnerable male places. For example, a man’s affairs begin to go wrong, he begins to lose something, get into some unpleasant situations. A woman does not make plans for revenge, but it is in her nature to influence space and her thoughts and grievances begin to form a not good space in which the man finds himself. A man cannot be prosperous next to an offended and dissatisfied woman. If the man with whom you live causes a feeling of irritation and you do not want to do anything for him. Then the question is: “Why do you continue to be with such a person?” Love is where there is a mutual desire to build and do something for each other. I think not a single book teaches a woman to forget about herself and devote herself only to the desires of a man. Moreover, the authors of such books are mostly women. A happy woman is, first of all, a self-sufficient woman who can live alone, who can do without a man, but out of love for him lives with him. If you live alone and think that a man will bring discomfort into your life, then I don’t believe that you are happy. If you live with a man and cannot imagine your life without him, then this is also very far from a happy life. Happiness is when life with a man, in “principle,” is no different from life alone, but brings in many internal sensations, colors, experiences that cannot be obtained and felt while being alone. If you are dating or living with a man and devote time to yourself, maintain your shape, take care of yourself, take care of yourself, and when left alone you lose interest in this, then your attitude towards yourself very much depends on the presence of a man in your life. It turns out that you are doing this for him, and not for yourself. If you clean, cook with a man, and alone eat sausages and there is “no place to step in the house,” then the question is, how do you feel about yourself? If with a man you forget about your interests, hobbies, girlfriends, then again the question is why do you cheat on yourself so quickly and easily? Why does it happen that with the advent of a man, a woman’s life changes greatly, and not for the better? Why is the belief that if you are married, then you need to forget about yourself and your desires, is so firmly established? Why is it that with a man, even successful and self-sufficient women begin to lose themselves in relationships ? Never forget yourself and do not lose yourself in a relationship with a man. The most important thing for a woman is not to lose herself in love and always feel a core inside herself, but not metal and not bending, but soft, elastic, but never breaking. Very often I hear from my patients that after breaking up with a man, things began to go uphill for them, they became successful and a lot of things began to work out for such women... but after the breakup. Createsthe impression that a woman directs all her energy to a man, as if they do not know how to redistribute energy, they are either in love or in business. Why can’t you be successful and be in love? Why do love and relationships become a cage for many women and clip their wings? Why do women often have to choose a career or a man? Such women cannot find happiness not in relationships and love, nor in loneliness and a career. By and large, they are not satisfied with either of the options. This conflict is so deep and repressed that very often a woman does not understand its presence in herself and, without realizing it, does things that push her in one direction or the other. The only way out of this situation is to be able to shift this conflict to the middle and be able to be in a relationship and mind your own business. Learning not to lose yourself in a relationship is the biggest task many women must solve for themselves. This conflict is deep and its roots are in our childhood, it can be solved as a result long-term psychotherapy. Some life tips: How not to lose yourself in relationships with men.1. Always feel your goals and your desires. You must clearly see your path and understand what you really want. If you don’t want to do something or you have your own goal, then don’t let a man give up his goal and switch to his desires. For example, a woman wants to get a job. The man wants her to stay at home. She tells him of her desire. After listening, he invites her to an expensive restaurant, then the next day he buys her something nice. And the woman forgets about her desire for some time. She prefers immediate benefits to her real desires and needs. When a small child is very upset that his mother has gone somewhere, he is offered candy, he gets carried away with the candy and forgets that he was crying about his mother. Quick switching of attention is the main property of the child’s psyche. Adults remember and know their goals and move towards them slowly and persistently. Don't let a man throw you off your course.2. This also applies to conversations. When a woman wants to get something as a result of a conversation with a man, he can deftly jump to other topics, divert the conversation to the side, pretend that he did not hear the question. Don’t let him lead you away from your intention. If you do not switch, but gently but persistently return him to the topic of your interest, then you will get what you wanted. 3. If a man asks you to make a decision, do not answer immediately. Always take time to think. Women are emotional by nature and often respond on impulse. Therefore, you should always take a break to calmly and carefully think about everything. 4. Very often, men unconsciously play on women’s pity. Love and pity for a woman are very close. Many women, feeling pity for a man, mistake it for love. A man very often plays on this feeling. Don't fall for it. Aphrodite's 4th task for Psyche was about pity. She had to go down to the cave and get some healing ointment. “On the way, Psyche will see many people who need her help, they will stretch out their hands to her and ask for help, but she must remember her goal and refuse. If she can’t stand it, then she will remain in the underground kingdom forever.” Don't give in to pity. Of course, you can sympathize, but do not allow yourself to be drawn into the game - “Victim - Rescuer”... you are not a rescuer. You are a woman and you should have a normal man with you who is able to take care of himself.5. Very often women fall into the web of beautiful words and promises. A man can lull a woman's vigilance with his beautiful words. Remember, nothing characterizes a man more than his ACTIONS. By the way, very often it is marriage “Internet” scammers who use this knowledge about female psychology. They will write beautiful letters with words about what an angel you are sent by God to him, this is the kind of woman he dreamed of all his life/