Actress Evdokia Germanova Born on November 8, 1959 in Moscow. From 2006 to 2009, transiting Pluto squared natal Venus. In this example, based on the events of Evdokia’s life, Venus is the ruler of the 5th house. But first, a little background: In the summer of 2000, she took a one-and-a-half-year-old boy, Kolya, from an orphanage: “I didn’t think much about children for a long time. Firstly, I didn’t even want to leave the profession for a while, and secondly, the very fact of entering this world of childhood with all its problems frightened me. Obviously, everything could have fallen into place if I had given birth. But... I didn’t meet the man from whom I was destined to give birth... I met the first and, perhaps, the only love of my life on the set of the film “The Prank.” That period was generally very important in my life, because on those sets there were a lot of things for me for the first time. I smoked for the first time, tried wine for the first time and... fell in love for the first time. And very seriously. This love filled me completely and became literally limitless. And its object was a very worthy, but very mature man, and the situation for me was hopeless, because he had a family. But, despite this, I dare to hope, he reciprocated my feelings. The story lasted for several years, and then I stopped it - I simply forbade myself to prolong it... Then I had different relationships with men - both light hobbies and serious romances, I also lived in a civil marriage. All these men were the most worthy people, and I am grateful to Fate for these meetings. But what can I do - in my subconscious I always had that first, all-consuming love, and all other feelings could not be compared with it. Therefore, no matter how wonderful everything turned out, I still always left my beloved - the first. In order not to give up any hopes... As a result, by the age of forty, I was left alone. A terrible depression came over me - I was simply torn apart by the feeling that everything in my life was bad, I was living meaninglessly, there was no future, no one needed me - neither in life nor in my profession. In general, my entire inner territory was engulfed in complete despair and hopelessness... And In 2000, I and a group of friends went to Turkey for the Millennium. On January 3, I decided to go to the famous ancient Church of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker - just on an excursion, with tourists. I remember going inside, and it was as if something was turning over in my soul. It envelops me in some kind of amazing, confessional state - I am filled with previously unknown feelings, thoughts, emotions. And all of them suddenly seem to grow and rush somewhere upward, vertically - I directly felt it. And it became so good, so calm... Quite by accident, at that moment my friend took a photograph of me. When they developed the film, we simply couldn’t believe our eyes - a light cross was clearly visible on the window of the temple (despite the fact that the weather that day was cloudy and there was no sign of the sun ), and it was as if a halo had formed over my head... A complete miracle. Upon arriving home, the thought of adopting a child gradually began to arise in me. I thought about everything very seriously, calculated it, weighed it. And it was a rather painful process. As a result, all my thoughts took shape into a clear decision. I said to myself: “Well, okay, you don’t have a man who could become the father of your children, so now - disappear? Why on earth? If life turned out this way, don’t get angry, don’t despair, don’t panic, but go and do something good for someone...” In short, I came to the district government at my place of residence and said that I wanted to adopt a child. A month later. after the first meeting with Kolya, when I was finally convinced that this man would be my son, I signed up for patronage. That’s what everyone advises: first you need to try to live with your child in home conditions that are unusual for him, to see if you really suit each other... And about a year later, she submitted documents for adoption and registered Kolya under her last name. He became NikolaiNikolaevich Germanov...I took the name Nikolai as a sign from above, because I came to meet Koley six months after my visit to the Church of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker. Moreover, it turned out that the boy was born on January 3, that is, on the day when I found myself in that temple . But there was an even more inexplicable coincidence: when I started washing Kolya at home, I discovered a birthmark of a very complex configuration on him. And I was simply stunned: I also have a birthmark in the same place, and exactly the same size and shape. It’s like it’s really my own child. The next year I took Kolya to the same temple... Of course, with Kolya’s appearance, a completely different life began for me. Previously, left only to myself, I was free to fill my free time as I pleased, but now all my thoughts were completely adjusted by the child. And all 24 hours a day I already belonged only to him. All my time, all my desires, all my actions were connected only with Kolya. By opening the world to him, I myself made even more discoveries. I also discovered myself in this territory of motherhood. Some completely unknown emotions were awakening in me more and more - unimaginable tenderness for a helpless little man who is entirely dependent on you, a desire to help him, support him, protect him... Communicating with Kolya, I often thought: “How lucky I am! Such a wonderful boy - active, inquisitive, creative. A real creative person.” Periodically, I organized exhibitions of Kolya’s drawings, each time adding more and more of his pictures. No matter how sophisticated I was, arranging holidays for my son! Everything was there: his friends, and my famous pies, and joyful fooling around. Most of all I remember Colin’s first birthday at my house. For his second birthday, I bought a hundred (!) balloons and for the night fooled them all - thank God, I have a vacuum cleaner that performs this function. And then in the morning Kolya wakes up and... I can’t describe what happened to him. He jumped up, completely lit up, in his crib, his eyes became twice as big, he looked around, not understanding at all where he was. Of course: his whole room was covered in multi-colored balls! And then we fought with these balls, hooliganized, laughed, he simply choked with laughter. I believe that children should be given not expensive things, but emotions... The more Kolya and I talked, the more I became convinced that we coincided in everything - in horoscopic signs, in energy, in tempo. I literally felt that he and I - a single whole.” So, in 2006, at the very beginning of the formation of the transit square Pluto to natal Venus, Kolya turned 7 years old (Kolya was born on January 3, 1999): “Many children have a tendency to pull something together. But My son’s desire to take what belonged to others acquired hypertrophied proportions. It was real theft. The first signs of it appeared at the age of five, and by seven everything blossomed in an incredible way. As doctors later explained to me, at the age of seven, boys experience a second surge of hormones, and against this background genetics flourish. What began to happen? I often took Kolya to filming and rehearsals - not because there was no one to leave him with, but so that he would not withdraw into himself, so that he could see life in different versions. After a while, I began to notice that people somehow strangely avoided me, they lower their eyes at meetings. Then they admitted that, feeling sorry for me, protecting me, they didn’t tell me a lot... It soon became clear that in those days when I came with my son, a variety of things disappeared from the dressing rooms - computer and music discs, players, headphones, phones, money... And somehow he managed to deftly take out everything stolen and then hide it. Many loopholes were discovered where he had hidden all this. The money was hidden in secret places, and he successfully exchanged the equipment at school for something he needed. Then he began to steal at home - money, voice recorders, watches, and at school... Of course, the teachers knew about all this, but just like my colleagues, out of goodwill towards me, they hid all this from me for a long time, trying to extinguish the situation themselves. And nevertheless, the time has come when everyone has already become unbearable - peopleThey started calling me and telling me about Nikolai’s latest theft. I learned to find his stash. Then I rushed to return it all and apologize. It happened that during the day they called me several times for such reasons... I discussed this topic with my son thousands of times, explained that taking someone else’s property is not good, tried to understand the situation. I ask: “Well, why do you take it without asking?” He answers: “But they give it to me.” At the same time, Kolya tells me how they bully him at school - they put him in the toilet and lower him down the stairs. I’m going to find out, it turns out that everything is not true... Like any mother, at first I defended my son in front of other people in every possible way. Then, at home, of course, I had conversations with him, of course, unpleasant for him. It happened that I gave him a slipper in the ass. But soon, as soon as he once again made an attempt to talk to Kolya, to sort out the situation, he began to stage scenes of self-flagellation: he fought in hysterics against the wall, against chairs, grabbed the first objects that came to hand and beat himself with them. And since he naturally has a high pain threshold, He obviously did not feel any pain. Coming to school with bruises, he declared that he was being beaten at home. Some even believed him and sympathized with him. But only until it happened publicly - in front of all the school teachers, at the teachers' council... Then it began to be repeated regularly - in all cases when Kolya was reprimanded or scolded for something. Teachers called me in horror and said: “Take him away, he’ll put us all in jail...” At the same time, my son began to develop some kind of irresistible craving for knives and any sharp objects in general. He stole scissors everywhere. He could suddenly, angry, poke his fellow student, teacher. People were left with cuts...And one day the situation turned criminal. Kolya almost hit the man in the eye with scissors. They came from the police, they sorted it out, then they somehow hushed up the matter... At first I didn’t really understand what was happening to the child, I only saw that some kind of trouble was falling on me like a snowball from a mountain. But I thought that these were just my problems. I tried to cope with the situation myself, I believed that I could do it. “Well,” I told myself, “you understood that you took a difficult child, which means you need to raise him patiently.” . I went to child psychologists for advice. They attributed all these manifestations to adolescence, to adaptation to school - they say, she will grow up and everything will pass, and they gave educational advice. Finally, it became clear that the problem was not only in upbringing. Teachers and representatives of the guardianship and trusteeship authorities posed the question bluntly: you definitely need to see a doctor. And our medical epic with Kolya began. I examined my son with the best specialists. Their conclusion shocked me: The knee requires hospitalization in a children's psychiatric hospital - the case is very serious, it cannot be done without examination in a hospital. And I took my son there. It was December 7, 2006... In the hospital, Kolya was diagnosed with chronic schizoaffective disorder with atypical psychopathic mania and an emerging defect, with a predominance of the pathology of impulses. In other words, schizophrenia. With a manic attraction to theft and bladed weapons. I had no doubts about the medical conclusion - I turned to leading specialists in the field of pediatrics and child psychiatry, real luminaries and absolute authorities in this field. Is it worth talking about what I experienced then?.. And then I was faced with a new misfortune. It turned out the following: the medications that Kolya needs do not work on him. His body simply does not react to them. He was given triple doses of sedatives, and he did not even notice it. Still remained uncontrollable. My son’s attending physician told me: “I am an adult. a man, from such a dose he would sleep for three days, but he wouldn’t care..." When the doctors began to study the documents that were given to me upon adoption, in the extract from the maternity hospital they found a note made immediately after Kolya was born: “Convulsions with increased body temperature.” .And I also read this at one time and, I remember, asked: “What kind of cramps are these?” For whatthey told me: “Well, this happens in children at birth...” And I didn’t attach any importance to it. I’m sure they didn’t deceive me on purpose, obviously, they themselves simply misinterpreted the reason for this phenomenon. And professional psychiatrists, after analyzing the situation, came to a specific conclusion. When children who received drugs in the womb are disconnected from the mother's umbilical cord and are deprived of access to narcotic drugs, they experience withdrawal... The withdrawal that Kolya experienced at birth gave irreparable reactions. But this only manifested itself at the age of seven - it is at this age that the second release of hormones occurs... All the horror The fact is that the boy cannot be treated: he has an innate adaptation of the body to any drugs, including psychotropic ones. This means that the disease cannot be corrected, the destruction occurs at the molecular level... Is it possible to express in words the horror that I experienced, realizing that a self-destructive machine had turned on - both mental and physiological. It does not spare all the good things that Kolya managed to learn in his short life .And this process cannot be stopped by any means. I was drowning in tears, but what was the use of it... I came to visit Kolya in the hospital, we walked and talked. But his love for me ended instantly, the moment I left. “My mother is bad, and you are good. “You are my mother,” he said to any nanny. And when we met, he complained: “You know, mom, everyone here is such a bastard, so nasty...” I can’t tell you how painful it was. Each time I left in tears, my heart was breaking: I already understood that it was not Kolya’s fault, he didn’t know what he was doing... From time to time I was allowed to take Kolya home. And I saw that from time to time he became more and more aggressive. One day I felt really scared... I was running around in the kitchen, preparing dinner - cutting something, I don’t remember what. Salad, I think. Kolya is sitting at the table, drawing. The phone rang in the room. I went out, talked to someone about work, and came back. At the door, I froze in horror. My son stood in front of me with a large kitchen knife at the ready. The stance is threatening, aggressive, the hand squeezing a knife is directed at my stomach, the face is completely white, the eyes are narrowed, angry, looking straight ahead... And he has already become almost as tall as me. Instinctively, without having time to really comprehend anything, I begin to babble something - weaving God knows what, just to distract attention with any nonsense. “Kolya, dear, let’s cut up the carrots, and then the cucumber, and also add some meat.” Let's go together, my dear. And we'll cut some bread. Do you happen to remember where I put the bread board? I think I left it in the room. Maybe you can look and help me? You always know how to find everything. But give me the knife, I’ll finish my cooking here...” I see that his gaze softened, he relaxed and... finally threw the knife on the floor. It was as if he had woken up and returned from somewhere. And he immediately joined my game - went to look for a cutting board. Then he laughed - she ended up in the kitchen! Then such situations were repeated more than once. I realized that I began to be afraid of my own son... When I took Kolya away, the doctors warned: “Lock yourself in the room at night, otherwise irreparable things may happen.” And I actually locked the door to my room at night in fear of a nine-year-old child! (events of 2008) Kolya has degraded. I stopped recognizing my son. My affectionate, kind boy became angry, inadequate, uncontrollable, turning into some kind of predatory little animal. Previously, he read perfectly, expressed his thoughts interestingly, he had a brilliant memory, and suddenly all this began to fade away right before my eyes. Once upon a time We loved to play around with him: we fiddled around, pinched each other, tickled, chatted about all sorts of things, but gradually it became impossible to communicate with him at all - at any moment he could commit the most unpredictable act. Words cannot express the grief, the feeling of hopelessness that I I felt: all your efforts are going to hell, because nothing depends on you anymore. Nothing. Those same molecules methodically and purposefully break, destroy, decompose the body and psyche of an innocent little person. Kolya himself suffered. All