Family life is a long journey... Provided that the spouses have enough wisdom to overcome various life situations, love and desire to meet each other in search of compromises, as well as psychological flexibility in order to find effective ways to resolve emerging conflicts. Crises and conflicts in the family are inevitable. At times, quarreling and asking each other questions can even be useful, but provided that this is done “psychologically competently” and correctly, so as not to humiliate or insult the partner. The path of development of a family as a system is subject to two laws: The law of balance and balance (maintaining constancy and stability) The law of development (the natural logic of passing through a number of successive stages) Quite often, difficulties in a family arise precisely when its members, for some reason, are unable to move from one stage to another. For example, any unusual family circumstances - divorce, previous marriages, children from previous marriages, a large difference in the ages of children, divorce, death of a family member - create additional problems. Naturally, the family fails to react quickly and rebuild the system of relationships, which logically leads to a crisis: the old relationships no longer justify themselves, and new ones have not yet been created. So, let's begin: The first stage. Acquaintance of spouses, marriage and life of spouses before the birth of children. A chance meeting, an acquaintance, a whirlwind of emotions, romance... This is life! Pre-wedding worries and celebration. The ticket to a long family life is in your hands! There is enough happiness and love for ten... Dreams of an eternal idyll... All this euphoria smoothly flows into everyday life with a lot of ordinary ordinary life questions, including to each other, including the simple question of all times: “Who is the boss of the house?” A husband and wife, no matter what love reigns between them, are still completely different people. They grew up in different conditions: a large family or a family where they raised their only child as a child; a low-income family or a family that does not know the need. Their parents may be of different religions, different life preferences and values, and, in the end, be representatives of different social strata of society. Psychologists consider the main tasks of this stage of a family’s life to be: gaining independence from the parental family (including material) gaining experience stable relationships and experience of an appropriate life partnership, distribution of roles in the family, determination of the external boundaries of the family and the internal boundaries of the spouses, the formation of internal scenarios and standards of interaction between spouses, the beginning of the creation of family traditions, the establishment of internal agreements on all issues of living together: from the joining of everyday habits to the rhythm of the sexual life of the spouses. To successfully solve a complex of these complex psychological problems, they recommend: Remember: in a family, not everything always goes smoothly - this is normal. Every conflict has its own reason. It’s good if at least one of the couple understands this. Because to resolve the conflict, it is very important that the reason for the tension that has arisen is discussed, and not the reason that provoked the squabble, and subsequently all the sins from the couple’s history. So the reason can be anything: from lack of money to sexual dissatisfaction, and an open conflict will start because of a dirty cup or the banal lateness of one of the spouses to a family dinner. Another “conflict” advice: make it a rule to quarrel and sort things out without spectators. If it so happens that your quarrel has attracted the attention of “unwitting” witnesses - your household, do everything possible not to drag them into your dialogue. If possible, try to live in your own home from the first days, that is, separately from your parental family. Experienced couples say: “Peace in a family is inversely proportional to the number of square kilometers between its components.” It would be good if the future husband and wife could agree on the distribution of household.