From the author: If a preschooler does not behave the way you would like? He is capricious, mischievous, acts out of spite, does not listen to you. What to do? If a preschooler does not behave the way you would like? He is capricious, mischievous, acts out of spite, does not listen to you. Then look at how you communicate with him. It is your responsibility for how he behaves. He behaves as best he can. And with this behavior he protects himself. And it is important to understand the reasons for his such behavior, and not blame him for it and punish him. Does he see your acceptance? Does he see that you hear his requests and sympathize that you cannot fulfill everything? Does he hear you say that you love him even like this? Or does he only see jerks, shouts, and threats from you? If only this, then his behavior is not surprising. If you were in his place even for a short while, I’m not sure you could behave differently. Well, if, of course, you have already been trained not to hear your emotions and feelings, to suppress them, then yes, maybe it will be easy for you to push yourself into the image that should correspond to the ideas of your parents. In general, I wouldn’t want to now be in the place of such a child and hear and see all this, an attitude that ignores me. And then it’s not surprising that this child goes and wants to cut off the cat’s head or tail. And he says to the cat: “You are bad.” Although the cat didn't do anything bad to him. It’s just that the child has so much anger towards the parent that they don’t hear him. And this could be anger from powerlessness. And where should he direct this anger? You can't use it on a parent. It may come even stronger. And for a defenseless animal - just right for a child. Take out your anger on him, which is addressed to the parent. And at the same time learn that whoever is stronger can act as cruelly as he wants with those who are weaker. What am I talking about? I'm sad and annoyed that this is happening. I get angry when parents shift their responsibility to their child. And instead of looking at how they contribute to the child behaving this way, they choose the dead-end path of blaming the child for everything. I sympathize with the parents too. But more for children. Because parents have more opportunities to be aware of all these things and improve relationships. The child simply does not have these opportunities. Most likely and most often, this happens when parents not only do not understand the reasons for this, but also because they do not have the strength to react in any other way now. And these forces often do not exist because the parent does not know how to take care of himself, his needs and interests in a timely manner. And then it is important to learn and remember this. First put an oxygen mask on yourself, then on the child. But what annoys me more is that the parent does not seem to know about this pattern: if a child behaves somehow not so well, then look for the reason in your relationship. Dear parents, I hope you did not hear accusations in my words and judging you. I am writing out of a desire to help you. I want to see as many calm and satisfied parents and children around as possible. And I know that changing relationships is possible. That’s why it’s so important for me to talk about the fact that parents have the opportunity to change relationships so that everyone in them feels good! If you recognize yourself in the description, and you yourself feel bad and difficult from these repeated situations. And you would like to change this, and you are ready to do something for this, but you don’t know what. Where to start? Take care of yourself. Give yourself time to rest. Have your own interests. Do things that are pleasant to you and from which you get pleasure. Notice your emotions and be able to regulate yourself in accordance with them. For this, it is important to be able to self-regulate. 3. Hear the child. Let him know about it. Accept his emotions. Name them. Sympathize with him. Tell him that you love him, no matter what. Thus, help him learn self-regulation. Often even this is important to learn. And not always, and everyone can do it right away. If it is difficult for you to start, then contact!