In any family, without exception, situations arise when parents simply go into a stupor and do not know what to do or what to do. And all because of children's whims, which usually begin at the most inopportune time and in the most inopportune place. Sometimes, it is quite difficult for a parent to figure out and understand in a short time what needs to be done in order to calm down a raging child at the moment, avoid a conflict or get out of it with minimal losses for both parties. Believe me, children can be very inventive in their whims. These little psychologists know exactly with whom, when and at what moment they should start whining or resisting, whining or screaming at the top of their lungs in order to get what they want or for everything to be as they expect. And in such situations, confused parents can only puzzle over what to do and what to do at the moment, using persuasion, threats and all sorts of other methods in order to stop the impending storm planned by their own child. Children grow up and their “surprises” for parents become more and more interesting every day, because there is no limit to children’s imagination and ingenuity! In this part of my article about children’s whims, I will talk about what will help you cope with whims much simpler and easier - about creating an internal attitude of accepting the child. This attitude will help you to remain calmer and more positive in any situation, which in itself will help you resolve any conflict and stressful situations more kindly, which is called “little loss.” And so, in order to begin to create such an internal attitude, learn to the following: 1. Stop focusing on shortcomings in your child's behavior! Start seeing the good in him! To be honest, each of us, in a moment of our own weakness, will definitely tell someone, and especially a child, how bad and unworthy he is, how bad and bad he is at the moment. And what’s surprising is that when someone does something worthy and earns our approval, we usually remain silent, we take it for granted, but as soon as someone does something, in our opinion, bad or unworthy, we immediately call it out in his sight and we accuse him of this. By doing this, we unwittingly focus our attention only on the bad deeds and actions of our child. And the child begins to believe that he is bad! And if this is so, then there is no point in trying to be good, it won’t work anyway. The more often we tell the child about how bad he is and what intolerable behavior he has, the faster and stronger the child will believe in it. After all, dad and mom know exactly everything in the world, their opinion is not questioned by the child, the child believes his parents unconditionally! And let us learn, dear parents, to always remember that there are no absolutely bad people, bad things coexist in each of us , so good. Let's learn to remind ourselves every morning that our baby is kind and responsive, gentle and affectionate, persistent and nimble, etc. and so on. Each of them can independently compile a list of their child’s positive qualities, which will be supplemented and modified over time. And you should read this list to yourself every morning and every evening before going to bed; it is this list that will help you create inner confidence that your child is good, which means that behind each of his whims, in addition to the negative, there is also some hidden positive that is worth discovering. You see, the point here is that you need to remember that “every virtue casts a shadow.” For example, if your baby stubbornly sticks to his line, then on the one hand, if you look at it, he wants to annoy you and make you angry, but if you try to see something positive in this, then it turns out that he is simply persistently trying to complete his idea, to get there. to the logical end of bringing your idea to life. If the parent proceeds from the first, negative view, then there will be a scandal! But if you usein the second way of assessing what is happening, from a positive idea of ​​​​your child, it becomes clear that the child wants to complete the work he started, but does not know how to do this in socially acceptable ways and he just needs to be taught this, show him how to come to a logical conclusion started in a positive way. At the same time, it would be good to tell the child that he has such a wonderful trait as perseverance, which will help him achieve many positive successes in life, and also that if you decide kindly, everything will work out faster and better. Show your child all his achievements and positive aspects, teach him to do good deeds based on his natural characterological qualities. But in order for you to be able to do this naturally, you need to learn to tune yourself to the fact that every child has a lot of wonderful and good things. Believe me, this attitude will help you see something positive behind every child’s action, and will also help you direct your child to develop kindness and positivity. Teach yourself and your child to believe that every day you can master more and more of the science of kindness, every day you can reveal your positive sides, because nothing is predetermined in the world, there is no place for hopelessness in the world. 2. Learn to accept children's negative emotions and teach children to free themselves from them. We can all be in a good mood or in a bad mood. This applies to both adults and children. We may be irritated, upset, angry, offended, in the end, but you and I, parents, should remember that all these feelings are not alien to the child, only children express them more openly, directly, and precisely at that moment, as soon as they come to him, they do not know how to hide their momentary mood. And usually only the closest and dearest people see the whole palette of emotions, both the most joyful and the most negative. Dear parents, you will have to learn to accept the negative emotions of your dear child. You have to learn to remember that children's emotions are fleeting and changeable, that children splash out and express all their emotions that overwhelm them at that moment. And they do this not because they want to please or upset you, no, they do this because it is natural for them, natural for their childish nature. Therefore, you have to learn to adjust yourself to the fact that you are not the culprit and the person responsible for the children’s manifestation of certain children’s feelings or emotions. However, you are responsible for teaching your child to express certain feelings and emotions in an appropriate way, at one time or another in life. And you are also responsible for whether or not you teach him to free himself from negative feelings and emotions in time. For example, your child burst into tears from resentment, or fear, or pain. A child can cry in different ways, sometimes it gets on the nerves of both you and those around you, and an adult always tries to stop this process as quickly as possible. Most often, an adult simply asks the child not to cry, in the form of a harsh recommendation or order, without trying at all to understand what is happening, or begins to lament, lisp and coo over his baby, distracting him with persuasion and his over-affection. Both the first and second methods end, most often negatively - the child becomes even more upset because he was not understood or because he begins to believe that everything cannot be fixed, since his mother laments over him like that. So what should you do? First, just calm the child down, but please be calm and friendly, self-possessed and patient. Then ask what caused his crying, and only then proceed to “eliminate unwanted influences.” It would not be superfluous to inform your child that it is normal to feel fear, pain, anger, resentment, that all people are subject to such feelings, even you, parents, experience these feelings several times.