Many HR portals and women's magazines publish articles about Behavior Drivers. How to use them when assessing personnel and how to recognize one or another driver in the Partner’s behavior and, at best, in your own behavior. They write about permissions for each driver. To be honest, I always had the feeling that by repeating these resolutions like mantras, you can get away from driver behavior and live a full adult life. BUT. There are always details. The driver does not appear all the time. In fact, it ONLY manifests itself in a stressful situation. And constantly repeat to yourself “I have as much time as I need!” And I can achieve results!” it is pointless if at the right moment you still postpone the decision until the last moment and do 10 things at the same time and either do something in a rush (and receive internal permission for poor quality) or do not have time to achieve the result (receive internal permission due to high workload) We need to use permissions when we need them. At the moments when the Driver is triggered. To do this, you need to understand the nature and purpose of the Driver. Tybee Kyler designated Drivers as a sign of entering a miniskipt (Miscenario). By Driver behavior, you can determine that the situation you are in reminds you of or is a situation of receiving a script order (the most common of which is “Don’t exist”). Therefore, if you notice driver behavior in yourself, you can analyze it to recognize the existential position, the system of exchange of strokes, your driver and the script order itself. Once again. Permission gives us the opportunity to work with our drivers, which cover our script orders - “I can exist while I’m working hard!”, “I can exist while I’m in a hurry and in a hurry!”, “I can exist as long as I’m the best, the most successful.” , appreciated." The trap of Drivers is that it is impossible to achieve the final goal. Stress overtakes us in adulthood, we try to prove to someone (partner, boss, interlocutor) our right to exist, which our Parents doubted about our virginity. And we can get this permission from the Partner, but this is not enough for our inner child. A partner is not our mom and dad. He actually has nothing to do with it. Therefore, by removing the prohibition (command), we choose Adult life, in which we ourselves are the Parent to our inner child, and we ourselves give ourselves permission to live. This is why it is so important to work with Drivers. It runs a miniscript in a fraction of a second, sometimes minutes. The person acts out his scripted behavior during this period of time. The ability to recognize the entrance to the mini-script will allow us to begin to exit the script and ultimately receive permission to our script orders. So, a little theory: Mini-script and driver behavior “Miniscript is a sequence of script behavior and racket feelings, always starting with the driver. A person in a mini-scenario plays out his script in a short time, and thereby strengthens it. A mini-script is the manifestation of a script in small, short events lasting only a few seconds. The mini-script is easy to spot and is always very effective to work with.” In the first position, Tybee Cuyler describes our behavior in the Driver. We are trying to get rid of stress by turning on the Driver. We rush, prove that we are the best, work hard, please others or show others how hard we are trying. This is how we defend ourselves. Any situation can be stressful. She is individual. You can be afraid of public speaking (“Keep your head down!”), you can be afraid of criticism (“You ruined everything again!”), you can be afraid of intimacy, etc. in 12 variants. If the stress does not subside, we still feel bad, we end up in Stopper. Into the state we fear most. A state when we are very dissatisfied and we understand that we will now be neglected, scolded or “destroyed”. As in childhood. We "withdraw into ourselves." Feeling of guilt, we did not live up to the trust, did not do what they wanted from us. But there is still hope (at all)children's) that they will forgive us. In order to somehow support ourselves, after position 2 we can move to position 3. This is the position of the Accuser. We are perfect, we are offended, we are looking for someone to blame and blaming him for all mortal sins. This should help us at least somehow maintain our inner faith in ourselves. If the stress does not subside even after this, then we can only defend ourselves by saying that the world around us is also bad. As we are. Like everyone and everything. Everything is decay. This is position 4. Example: “Suppose my predominant existential position is dysfunctional, my “happiness battery” is charged with a negative charge, I prefer to collect kicks and play out a mini-scenario from the Adaptive, Nurtured Child. My Child prefers to listen to the moral teachings of the Punishing Parent and obey him , devaluing yourself, your abilities and ignoring all the opportunities around you to cope with the problem. My favorite driver is “Please others.” I do everything in my power to make people around me smile and not quarrel, this is how I get strokes (position 1). When people quarrel or “speak in a raised voice,” I feel bad because I failed to please them and avoid a conflict situation. My breath is taken away, my body goes numb. It's hard for me to speak and I can't think. Perhaps I am obeying the Punishing Parent’s injunction to “Perish!” Shut up!" (position 2). I can move to the next position (3), where my Rebellious Child activates and starts screaming something inarticulate and crying, but the energy quickly runs out. I move to the fourth position (4) of the mini-scenario and receive the final reckoning - helplessness and disappointment in myself and my attempts to fix and change anything. I have been in this state for a long time, experiencing racketeering feelings. To return to the original, original position of conditioned well-being, I can act out my racketeering feelings, for example, kicking my beloved dog, yelling at children, or manipulating people who are peacefully resting after a conversation in a “raised” tone. This whole cycle of experiences takes me a few minutes. I play out my scenario in miniature and confirm my existential position, the system of exchange of strokes, my driver and prescriptions.” (Makarov, Eastern version of TA) A little structured information (how I like to structure!!))) Driver Behavior Resolution, “stopping” driver Driver “Be perfect” and scenario pattern “Not yet” The behavior of an Adaptive Child, an excellent student, a pioneer, who is an example to all children, dominates .Facial expressions and gestures will be similar to adult behavior, but tension will be felt throughout. Gestures and facial expressions of a thinker: he counts his fingers, rests his chin or forehead with his hand. His speech is very detailed, he chews and puts everything into order, not missing any little things. However, the words will be complementary, not carrying new information. The gaze is directed straight or upward, at one point, as if reading the text written in front of it. “I’m still good enough!”, “I do my job perfectly. I enjoy my work at all its stages.” Driver “Please Others” and scenario pattern “After” Everything works out for him, he is happy, he looks into his eyes, nods his head. Posture - the body is tilted forward. If this is a group member, he definitely needs to make the group laugh or evoke sympathy. A characteristic feature is ratings from high to low. “I feel so good now, but what will happen tomorrow?” “My well-being depends on your mood.” “This is your joy!” You did this for yourself!” The permission you give to yourself is “I can please myself.” And, therefore, “My well-being no longer depends on the mood of others, and I can free myself from the fear of punishment.” “What do you feel?” Now?" - the main question. Any manifestation of joy, pride, satisfaction, a good thought, a witty phrase is welcomed Driver “Be strong” and the script pattern “Never” Script message from the Parent: “You are prosperous only when you hide your feelings and desires from others. Don't give them a reason to think that you