The original idea for the title was “Children. Instructions for use.” But the word “exploitation” has some negative connotations. It is about use, it is associated specifically with slavery, with the suppression of the will of another. And I have an article with a flair of love. And not just any kind, but a parent’s one. I propose to consider in detail how you can use a child to improve the quality of your life. If you don't have children yet, then this article is definitely for you. I guarantee that you will be able to immediately understand the experiences of your relatives, neighbors, colleagues, classmates and everyone who is still so sincerely worried about your failure. This is a universal purchase. This is not a cat or a dog. In general, they can: - give meaning to a joyless life (all suffering will now be justified, and there is no need to search for meaning, and there is no time) - be support, support (children will always support, in any decision. The main thing is to present it correctly. All that you do this only for their benefit and out of love for them) - ensure a well-fed old age - keep your family from falling apart - children can be manipulated and hide behind them (take note: if you put children in front of yourself in a loud conflict, then you will be less likely to chances will strike. You can call children for help during a conflict, they start screaming, crying and all participants calm down faster) - you can train the child to return the father to the family. Sometimes the mother, but the father more often works (after all, without a child, it is very difficult to return a person who does not love you. And here love and affection for the child, conscience, social pressure will help) - with them the feeling of loneliness is dulled (you can sleep with him on one bed, even until adulthood, and even until death. Who will forbid you? It’s nice, warm and not scary) - you can create an alibi for yourself at any moment (if you don’t want to go somewhere or go, do something - a child can do it). get sick. And you don’t need to deceive anyone. He will really get sick) - you can go to the theater, to the cinema, and travel with them (you don’t need to establish and maintain contacts with anyone, the children will provide you with company, you can take up a hobby that you have long wanted to do). ) - you can make them friends (and then don’t worry about the fact that you don’t have others. This friend is with you for the rest of your life) - they are excellent containers for guilt (they absorb everything without complaint) - you can always blame everything on their birth and in general the severity of motherhood and parenthood (lack of education, self-development, sports, relationships, sex, money, time, and whatever you want) is an indescribable feeling of power and superiority (who else can be executed and pardoned like that? At least every day. And for whatever you want. The one who is stronger is always right) - when you are sad, you can cuddle up to your child and use him as a heating pad - with children you don’t need to spend money on a psychologist, you can cry to them the whole hard way of your life. They will definitely support you, feel sorry for you and really sincerely worry. And they won’t judge! Which is very important. And in general, it’s convenient. You cried quickly, literally 10 minutes is enough. And then the child acts out all these emotions for you for a month. It’s good for you and your child has something to do; you can shift the responsibility onto the children. The function is great. You ask your child everything you need, but you don’t want to admit it, and you get the answer you need. Then you pass it off as the desire of a child, and not yours - a woman can consider herself a real woman, and a man can consider himself a full-fledged one (especially if you have not acquired other characteristics of these qualities, then children simply must have) - it is much easier for men with children to create the impression of success (doubts in his homosexuality, if he is afraid of it, it becomes less) - and they will always say that they love you and consider you the most beautiful, smart and brave (like no one else) - and if pregnancy does not work out, then planning it can be used wisely (it’s enough to make it the main justification for having sex, the main topic of conversation. And going to the doctors is a great distraction from psychological?