This chapter can also start with a short story. Not even stories, just sketches. A hot, sunny day in midsummer. Playground. Naturally, children play here, mostly kids. Some people make Easter cakes, others go downhill. But a girl of three or four years old and a slightly younger boy “share” a water pistol. There is no point in sharing it, it belongs to a boy who has just taken it out of the house along with a supply of water in a bottle - so that he can certainly shoot himself to his heart's content. But the girl also wants to shoot... And the boy is not in the mood for generosity. The girl’s mother and the boy’s grandmother are sitting on a bench at a distance and having small talk. The girl begins to take the gun away from the boy. The boy persists and shouts loudly: “Get away, I won’t let you!” He manages to snatch his pistol from the girl. In response, the girl hits him on the shoulder with her palm. At this moment, adults intervene. “Don’t you dare do that!” Never, do you hear?! How many times have I told you - you can’t hit children! - the angry mother shouts to the girl. And... he hits her on the butt! Curtain. The scene is unpleasant, perhaps, for any person, and for a psychologically literate person - in general, it is some kind of complete absurdity in an incomprehensible scenery. In this situation, we will ask one single question: what does a girl who is beaten and at the same time not told to beat children learn? Yes, of course, she learns to beat children. Remember? Children never do what their parents say. Children simply do what their parents do...Modeling is the basis of all learning. At any age, we learn something new by modeling someone who already knows how to do it. A person adopts models that seem effective to him, sometimes with lightning speed. Our unconscious is responsible for this; the desire to constantly improve one’s efficiency is an inherent characteristic of him. Let's say I do something a certain way. Then I meet someone who, it seems to me, does it even better - and I adopt his model as more effective. For example, a child grows up in a family where it is customary to wipe their hands with a napkin. Mom does this, dad does this, he does this. Then the baby goes to kindergarten and there, looking at his peers, he learns that he doesn’t have to look for a napkin every time, he can wipe his hands on his clothes! It seems to him that this model is more effective (it’s faster), and he adopts it. Perhaps to the displeasure of the parents. Or another example: as you know, kids who have older brothers and sisters learn to go to the potty much earlier than the first children in the family: they have before their eyes an example of what those who are older, stronger, more skilled and knowledgeable do . So, it’s worth learning! You can model consciously, this only enhances the effect, and in addition, it allows us to select models more carefully, decide what we need and what we don’t. Why is this selectivity so important? Before answering this question, let's clearly formulate what a model is in general. As you remember, we have already discussed logical levels. So, a model is a certain structure, a strategy that covers all logical levels. Let us remember, for example, the same mother who spanked her daughter for an offense. What do we see at the environmental level? The environment, one must assume, in this case can be anything. (Although, of course, it is not known whether she will decide to take such “educational steps” in front of her boss’s office). A woman looks a certain way, she has a peculiar expression on her face. Let's move on to the level of behavior: what is she doing? She hits the girl, swears, screams. How does she do it (ability level)? Angry, tough, angrily, desperate. What is she capable of? Be aggressive and cruel. What are you convinced of? The fact is that you need to force a person to obey you. What values ​​does it cover at this moment? Power. Who is she at this moment? Well, let's say an angry woman. Or a cruel punisher. What is the point of this whole situation for her? The point is to force the daughter to obey. Here she is, the model, entirely, in all her “glory.” Any model - how